ATRL Administrator
Member Since: 6/29/2002
Posts: 77,601
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Happy "birthday" Tiziano!
Two years since his coming out. 
A passage from his book/diaries
Quote:
October 6th 2010
I started the day writing on the forum of my fan club:
"Hello everyone!
I'm writing overwhelmed by confusion on a day where I feel that everything could be changing. I'm on the edge of my personal revolution and while everything remains static outside, inside I feel I'm at the center of a huge chaos.
Certain moments are strange but, like every important turning point in my life and in my career, I feel I want to share it with you... before doing so with everyone else.
So, there is much to say, but time works against me, and therefore I leave the task to a small and brief open letter that tomorrow will become public. But tonight it'll be yours only, just for you.
Writing is the best way to tell something, to tell about me... and I know that you'll understand very well."
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After so many years in the shadow of all my efforts, denials, agonizing fears, all the stress and deprivations, I was prepared to stop singing. I was ready to throw the sacrifices to the wind, there were no more tears of hope, and not even those of joy. Even satisfaction for what I've achieved, my dreams, it was all pushed to the background.
In my head was only this: "If I'm homosexual then I can't exist in this world."
I felt like a child dropped on the ground, abandoned by his mother, awaiting his fate weeping, despairing, defeated. For me, music has always been the greatest hope, and yet, due to my inability to find a way out, I'd decided to part with it. Consciously and unfortunately.
At that point I talked to my father about it, who told me: "Listen to me, your life is unique because you are special. Learn to respect yourself. Your solace is also my solace." It was the final push to make me go all-out: I started a journey and patiently learned to deal with the obstacles, and to not go around the dangers. For this I'm grateful to him. I am grateful to him and all those who have stood with me until now.
After, I turned to the lawyer Giulia Bongiorno to ask her for an opinion, her advice, perhaps just a word. I did this without even realizing it: I had turned to a criminal lawyer! As if my actions and my thoughts were incriminating. As if my condition constituted a crime. And an offense so serious that I had to receive the most severe punishment: to stop singing.
I was very nervous when I arrived at her office, after a sleepless night. Then she, someone who I've admired unconditionally for years, suddenly opened up the world for me when she reassured me with a firm tone and frank expression: "There's nothing better than going to a criminal lawyer when you don't need one!"
And I smiled. But not just with my face. I smiled inside: after a long time, my heart finally felt lighter. And then I felt understood, and still supported. Perhaps even a bit protected. Protected, after so many years spent alone, behind the barricades, trying to understand where the enemy was hiding, only to come to the conclusion that the enemy was represented only by me and the cruel mindlessness with which I insisted to face life.
There's a time for everything: a time to speak and a time to be silent. The silence is worth it, and now I prefer this book to speak for me.
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This is it, the Day has come and now the truth is before everyone.
This morning I realized I was really happy because for the first time I feared for my life and I hate death, I hate it. It's the first time in thirty tears and that I don't evade the danger, I'm OKAY and if it's possible I want to be even better.
I walk around with a stupid grin on my face, even though it's raining outside. The British look at me and don't know that for me today is a historic day, to them I'm just another madman whose mood contrasts with the color of the sky.
I am happy and October 6th is my new birthday, or perhaps only the date of my release. I look at myself from the outside, seeing the light for the first time, and enjoying this scene of me being reborn is a unique and exciting privilege.
I AM HAPPY! I have to write it over and over, to compensate for all the times that I've written the opposite. I have never felt so loved. I have to transcribe some of the messages that I've received:
[[ Insert two pages of happy messages ]]
There are so many messages, maybe I'll continue later, my phone is overloaded and my inbox is over 80% capacity.
And now what? What happens? Where do I start? I'm filled with a sense of immobility, exacerbated by the fact that here in England nobody notices anything, notices me. I'd like to look the people in the face, talk to them, and as always... there will be a time for that.
Today is not the day for contrivances and I wonder what the hell I'm doing here, sitting in this Starbucks, instead of being with my loved ones.
A teacher friend of mine wrote me this morning that the kids at school couldn't talk about anything else and he had to interrupt the lesson to talk about homosexuality. I'm moved by the idea of being able to do a little bit of good even to such small and innocent souls, I'd never thought of that.
Today love takes my breath away, evil has no place in my life and it shouldn't have in anyone's. Today love has surprised me, again improving my existence.
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Happy anniversary to one of the sweetest and most inspirational people in the world. Thanks for still being here and for enriching the lives of your many millions of fans.
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