I think this a very annoying thing for us gays.... How do you know a guy is really hitting on you ? Or just want to be friends ? Or if the guy is just messing with you ?

Just recently (like 5 min ago lol) I was chatting on blackberry messenger with a guy I've known for a while now. But I don't know if he's liking me as a friend or sth else....

This is what he just asked me:
"We should meet soon, you know to talk..... Maybe a movie or to get something to eat"

This is so confusing man. I'm in the closet which makes it even more difficult.

How do you guys deal with these kind of things ?

Just go with the flow. Go for the movie. Don't think too much.

Question of the millennium for gay men.

It's so much harder for us because so many are still deep in the closet.

Same with me.

This. But I do think that even if someone is deep in the closet, their sexuality can be picked up on an instinctual level. When there is a connection between gay men there is just an "energy" you feel - for lack of a better word.

Also if that's an exact quote I think he's hitting on you. Most normal friends would just say "let's hang out man". If he said "you know talk..." with three dots at the end, then it kind of leads the assumption imho.

I was interested in numerous of guys but I was to scared to tell them. How do I know now it isn't going to be the same case for him ?

I NEVER assume a guy is gay unless I know for sure (if it's obvious). Just take it slow and I'm sure he will give you more signs if he is or he isn't.

Whatever you do don't assume hes gay because if he's not then it could get ugly

I know but then I hit myself with the other questions.

Does he like me or is he staring for another reason?

Am I too ugly for him?

Am I over thinking it?

It's just so irritating.

I just re-read the conversation and he said "so that we can talk". Still on the same level what I originally said that he said. I agree, most guys would ask to hang out or to get together. But I'm going to wait for more signals before getting my hopes up though. Cause he's really cute.

That's why I always wait for them to make the first real move. I'm not here for someone making me out to look like a delusional fool when it's the other way around.

Yeah, just see what he has to "talk" about. Any sudden movements could scare him. Closeted men are like small, timid animals.

!!!!!!!!!

And in my country there are only 500k people here, so you can get the picture how safely the closet gays act.

Everybody is afraid of exposure. In a small population, everyone knows your dirty little secret in seconds if and when it comes out in the open.

It's an unanswerable question. It depends on your gaydar, the other guy's romantic history, his body language, whether you're out, etc.

Life is much simpler, but somehow messier, when you're out and he is too.

But if everyone waits for the other guy to make the first move...

Keep those beautiful insights coming.

Well I try to have the signals be tangible, but not so forward as I couldn't deny them on a moments notice.

It's my perception that the closeted ones are actually more eager to hook up because their chances are far and few in between. It all depends on the individual though.

Lmfao I know !! since I'm closeted myself

I know

But I never made the first move and probably never will. I will give you signs and hints though and if I receive them back I will throw stronger signs but I would never make the first move.

I'm sure if real signals are bouncing back and forth something will happen eventually.