'The Drunk Diet': Lady Gaga's ex writes a memoir, and I read it so you don't have to!
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I read the book hoping to glean a little more about his relationship with Gaga. Instead, what I found was a lot of cursing and a little too much information about him being constipated and how much he enjoys “taking dumps.” But I suppose that’s the risk you take when you read a book called The Drunk Diet. So without further ado, here are the highlights—notice the list is small—from Carl’s debut with a few choice lines:
++ Save for one paragraph, Lady Gaga was hardly mentioned. And when she was, it wasn’t even by name. Occasionally he referred to his “wife” a.k.a. his former girlfriend: ”I couldn’t even drink the pain away in my own home…because there she was, taking over the whole world right in front of my face. Even if I was just trying to buy a beer, I’d have to listen to her sing about how great life is on the radio at the goddamn grocery store. If I went to the gym, she’d be on the TV doing a talk show or receiving an award for Most-Amazing-Person Ever.”
I couldn’t even drink the pain away in my own home…because there she was, taking over the whole world right in front of my face. Even if I was just trying to buy a beer, I’d have to listen to her sing about how great life is on the radio at the goddamn grocery store. If I went to the gym, she’d be on the TV doing a talk show or receiving an award for Most-Amazing-Person Ever.”
I couldn’t even drink the pain away in my own home…because there she was, taking over the whole world right in front of my face. Even if I was just trying to buy a beer, I’d have to listen to her sing about how great life is on the radio at the goddamn grocery store. If I went to the gym, she’d be on the TV doing a talk show or receiving an award for Most-Amazing-Person Ever.”
Yaaaas suffer
So it turns out she was right!!!
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"I had a boyfriend who told me I'd never succeed, never be nominated for a Grammy, never have a hit song and that he hoped I'd fail," said Gaga, whose issue hits newsstands March 9. "I said to him, 'Someday, when we're not together, you won't be able to order a cup of coffee at the f---ing deli without hearing or seeing me."
”I couldn’t even drink the pain away in my own home…because there she was, taking over the whole world right in front of my face. Even if I was just trying to buy a beer, I’d have to listen to her sing about how great life is on the radio at the goddamn grocery store. If I went to the gym, she’d be on the TV doing a talk show or receiving an award for Most-Amazing-Person Ever.”
But then she took him back so it ruins what could have been a perfectly spiteful moment.
