In today's lesson taught by the Internet, we learn that when you try to steal a ****y porcupine's corn on the cob he'll attack you with cuteness by sounding like an Ewok furiously masturbating to Smurf **** in the middle of a windstorm. Adorable. I like that thing so much better now that it's not living on top of Kate Gosselin's head anymore. And I'm no porcupine whisperer, but did I hear that ho say, "Back up, bitch"? Somebody give Teddy Bear his own show! Better yet, auto-tune this and release it as his first single. Bitch practically sounds like Brit Brit but with more natural vocal talent. Viva Teddy!
