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Oh, Baby! The 5 Best Things About Being Jay-Z and Beyoncé's Kid
1. Your parents just landed at the No. 2 on Forbes' new "World's Highest-Paid Celebrity Couples" list. They're officially music's most powerful couple.
So, you don't know this yet, Baby Carter, but you're rich. Like, super rich. Like, charter-a-private-jet-to-the-Hamptons-for-the-day-just-because rich. Your parents raked in $72 million last year and they stand to make just as much in 2011. The next closest musical couple? Well, they're not close. At all. Not even worth mentioning here. So prepare to enjoy all the private schools, foreign cars, and My Super Sweet 16 parties you can handle, baby!
2. Your babysitters will include, but not be limited to, Rihanna, Kanye West, Kelly Rowland, and LeBron James.
While the rest of the kids out there are stuck with Uncle Otis and Aunt Mabel for the weekend, you'll be jet-setting out to L.A. to kick it with Rih-Rih, who will pass you off to Uncle Kanye for a few hours while she goes to the studio. 'Ye's got a busy schedule, though, so he'll hand you over to your godmother (Kelly Rowland, of course!) at some point, before she lets LeBron hold you for a few minutes after he gets done playing Kobe Bryant and the Lakers at the Staples Center. And that's just what you'll be doing on Saturday. Who knows who you'll run into on Sunday, son!
3. You already have a song or two written about you—and there are surely more where those came from.
Is it just us—or did "New Day," a song in which Jay-Z discusses how he'll raise his future child, just come out, like, yesterday? You've got a few other songs written by "Dad" (it feels weird referring to Hova as a father, right?) that are also directed at you, kid. And we can only imagine the type of material Beyoncé will put together once the motherhood bug really bites her. You might be the first kid in the history of kids to have an entire album's worth of material written about you. SMH.
4. Your baby seat has its' own spot courtside at the new Barclays Center in Brooklyn.
We could save up from now until your 16th birthday and we'd still probably have trouble paying for a courtside seat at the new Barclays Center, where the Nets will play starting in the fall of 2012. Oh, did we forget to mention that your dad owns an NBA team? Well, he does. And we're sure that you'll catch plenty of games from your baby seat that'll be situated somewhere down next to the court. You're only a baby, but you're already baaaaaaaaaallin'!
5. And who can forget...free Deréon and Roc-A-Wear gear for life!
You'll be stuntin' like your daddy—andyour mommy, if you're a girl—thanks to the fact that both of your 'rents have their own clothing lines. You're not even an infant yet and you've already got a closet full of gear! Damn you, Baby Carter, damn you!*
I'm so jealous. 
