Lifetime could sit me down and offer up a million dollars cash, every piece of official Britney merchandise ever created from here to eternity, and each iconic costume from both her music videos AND tours that--in a
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsian twist--all fit me like a glove in exchange for my lily white southern Louisiana ass viewing this...thing...and I STILL wouldn't lay an eye on it, as it bursts straight up from the fiery, Red Sin by Christina Aguilera-scented hellscape where it should've remained prisoner forevermore.