Here is a simple psychology exercise to find what the main issue with your dysfunctional life is
Write down
8 pairs of words (16 words total) on a sheet of paper
Then for each pair write down the first word that comes to your mind after seeing the pair
From the new 4 pairs repeat until you arrive at the last word which is the cause of all your life problems
Be honest and follow your subconscious
My word was
father