Discussion: Should 'internalized homophobia' be treated w/ more respect?

Scotty

As you know, there are many gay men in the world who find colorful, feminine behavior in other men both repugnant and unattractive. Should these "self-haters" (according to ATRL) be treated as cruelly as they are? Is it their faults they aren't attracted to flamboyancy? Most gay men are attracted to masculinity by default. So how much are these "self-haters" to blame?

Are they not, to some degree, the byproduct of the casually (sometimes not-so-casually) homophobic society they were raised in and should be treated with more respect under the circumstances? Are they the real victims? What if these men were born with the natural inclination to act hypermasculine? Do they deserve to be told such things including, but not limited to:

"Go see a therapist."

"Homophobe."

and

"Ignorant trash." ?

Adelephant 25

So masc4masc equals internalized homophobia?

Itskorbitch

Isn't it just a preference? like yall do too much.

Zylo

There's nothing wrong with being attracted to masculinity, or having a preference towards masculine guys. That is not an issue in any way, shape, or form. It's just sexuality 101.

However, Condemning feminine (or masculine, if that ever actuallly happens) guys for being feminine or otherwise "gay" is an issue. Femininity or gayness is nothing to say "ew" or scoff at.

"Eh, not my type of guy." That? Thats perfectly fine.

Pharaoh

Mettaton

There is nothing wrong with not being attracted to feminine or masculine men. You do you.

The problem is finding them, as you put it, repugnant. That leads to horrible things being said and done to them. People who say "I hate fem guys" or "I'm not that type of gay" make me cringe.

NX127

I wholeheartedly agree with every word.

Pokistic

#fem4fem.matters

Scotty

Quote:

Originally posted by Itskorbitch

Isn't it just a preference? like yall do too much.

But they are "homophobic, self-hating, fem-haters" then?

Madam X

It's just a preference.

DoubleDutchess

How they are the victims if they bash feminine gays?

Mettaton

Also everything is about sex in your LGBT "community". If they don't get you hard, you treat them like trash. That's the problem.

Most gay guys have some form of internalized homophobia, I have it. And society is definitely mainly to blame. But that doesn't mean that it should be ignored or accepted, it needs to be pointed out and tackled.

NX127

Quote:

Originally posted by DoubleDutchess

How they are the victims if they bash feminine gays?

This isn't about masculine men who bash feminine gays, this is about masculine men in general.

And having feminine gays try to convince you that you don't love yourself, this not the real you, and you should see a therapist, is not any less of a disgusting thing to do than bashing them.

fanboyn8

I dont find fem gays attractive at ALL, and I tend to be attracted mainly to jock type straight guys. Is that internalized homophobia? Probably. But just because i feel this way when it comes to PHYSICAL attraction doesnt mean im gonna be an asshole to fem gays. They're human. They're people. And many of them, I assume, are good people

Scotty

Quote:

Originally posted by DoubleDutchess

How they are the victims if they bash feminine gays?

It has to do with the predominantly straight surroundings they are brought up and raised in. They feel like they're forced to despise femininity or face social consequences and so they are emotional victims in that sense.

Mettaton

Quote:

Originally posted by NX127

This isn't about masculine men who bash feminine gays, this is about masculine men in general.

And having feminine gays try to convince you that you don't love yourself, this not the real you, and you should see a therapist, is not any less of a disgusting thing to do than bashing them.

What you're describing is the other side of internalized homophobia. They are both the same, but for different reasons.

Zylo

Quote:

Originally posted by fanboyn8

I dont find fem gays attractive at ALL, and I tend to be attracted mainly to jock type straight guys. Is that internalized homophobia? Probably. But just because i feel this way when it comes to PHYSICAL attraction doesnt mean im gonna be an asshole to fem gays. They're human. They're people. And many of them, I assume, are good people

Personally, I wouldn't say you have internalized homophobia. When you say "straight", I believe you mean masculine? If you found a guy attractive, but immediately lost this attraction after you found out he was gay, then some would say you have internalized homophobia.

Then again, I'd say maybe a guy being straight intensifies his perceived masculinity because he is straight, making you way more attracted to him than If he was the same except gay. So it just becomes a game of who has the most masculinity, that being straight guys who by default have higher masculinity because straightness is often hand and hand with masculinity (thats how its perceived anyways). Not exactly an intrinsic hatred of gays.

Its a strange discussion, but I like discussions

DoubleDutchess

Quote:

Originally posted by Scotty

It has to do with the predominantly straight surroundings they are brought up and raised in. They feel like they're forced to despise femininity or face social consequences and so they are emotional victims in that sense.

I can agree with that.