have you?

Originally posted by Tymps. Chill w/ your homework sis

i just need help with some clarifications
the prompt:
describe emerson's thesis(which is nonconformity), main points and main strategies in paragraphs 1-17 of self reliance and analyze how effective or persuasive they are.

my thesis
Emerson’s thesis, which is the idea of accepting your individuality with the pressure of others forcing you to conform to society’s standards, has various points, beliefs, and claims backed up with evidence that make his work highly effective.

is this a good attention grabber
Have you ever thought deeply about the saying, “be yourself” and what it really means to
“be yourself”?

my intro paragraph
Have you ever thought deeply about the saying, “be yourself” and what it really means to
“be yourself”? You’re not alone. Everyone has, at one point, questioned themselves as an individual and whether or not they have tried to fit into the latest trends. Most of the time, we don’t even realize we’re trying to fit in right now. It could be purchasing the latest lipstick color from Kylie Jenner all the girls at school have been using, or getting the brand new Jordans shoes every guy has been talking about, we unknowingly do these things with the purpose of fitting in. Sometimes, we do realize that we are conforming to the masses and we can’t do anything about it because if you do, you’re seen as an outlier to everyone else. That’s what Ralph Waldo Emerson, the leader of the transcendentalist movement of the mid-19th century, has been talking about in his Self-Reliance essay--the idea that every person should not give into society’s standards and believe in their own ideas and philosophies, despite what others think. Emerson’s thesis, which is the idea of accepting your individuality with the pressure of others forcing you to conform to society’s standards, has various points, beliefs, and claims backed up with evidence that make his work, in my opinion, highly effective.


Originally posted by chilicheese01 I think your thesis is a little vague. Give at least one reason or claim as to why it's effective.

thanks!

Originally posted by fememeist my intro paragraph Have you ever thought deeply about the saying, “be yourself” and what it really means to “be yourself”? You’re not alone. Everyone has, at one point, questioned themselves as an individual as individuals and whether or not they have tried try to fit into the latest trends, often unwittingly, Most of the time, we don’t even realize we’re trying to fit in right now. (This entire sentence could be omitted if you clarify the one preceding it with my suggestion. It sounds tighter and less "wordy.") It could be whether that be purchasing the latest lipstick color from Kylie Jenner all the girls at school have been using, or getting the brand new Jordans shoes every guy has been talking about. we unknowingly do these things with the purpose of fitting in. (You've already alluded to this point, so restating it is redundant.) Sometimes, we do realize that we are conforming to the masses and we can’t do anything about it because if you we do, you’re we're seen as an outlier outliers to everyone else. That’s what Ralph Waldo Emerson, the leader of the transcendentalist movement of the mid-19th century, has been talking about argued in his Self-Reliance essay--the idea that every person should not give into society’s standards and believe in their own ideas and philosophies, despite what others think. Emerson’s thesis, which is the idea of accepting your individuality with in spite of the pressure of others forcing you to conform to society’s standards, has various points, beliefs, and claims backed up with evidence that make his work, in my opinion, highly effective.

Originally posted by Goaty I've outlined some suggestions to strengthen your writing. You have good points, but they are sometimes muddled by your phrasing being bloated and "wordy." Try to revise your sentences into saying the same points in the fewest words possible -- it'll make your writing cleaner and more effective. Your thesis is strong up until the end, at which point it fizzles out into vagueness. Saying an author's work has "points and beliefs [...] backed up with evidence that make his opinion effective" is neither interesting nor novel. What about his points are so strong? What are you actually going to discuss in forthcoming paragraphs? You need to guide the reader more. As it stands your paper makes it sound like you have no idea what you're going to say. Overall it seems like a good start. Good luck with the rest!

i'm already half way done with my first paragraph so ill post it once im done with it in case you wanted to make more revisions.
thanks <3

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Originally posted by jonasha Gurl why you trusting the little ATRLers to help with your hw?

Originally posted by jonasha Gurl why you trusting the little ATRLers to help with your hw?

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this is my first paragraph so far
Emerson’s idea of nonconformity in his Self-Reliance essay has interesting points that works well with refuting his thesis. One of the most powerful evidence he commonly uses in his essay are examples. To be more specific, he uses timeless, influential models as examples of great men that have followed his ideas. In paragraph one of “Self-Reliance”, Emerson says,”Familiar as the voice of the mind is to each, the highest merit was ascribe to Moses, Plato, and Milton is, that they set at naught books and traditions, and spoke not what men but what they thought.” (Emerson, 1).

last sentence
Following Emerson’s idea of individualism, he implies that these powerful figures greater than life succeeded due to them following his philosophy.


edit:

woops added more
Emerson’s idea of nonconformity in his Self-Reliance essay has interesting points that works well with refuting his thesis. One of the most powerful evidence he commonly uses in his essay are examples. To be more specific, he uses timeless, influential models as examples of great men that have followed his ideas. In paragraph one of “Self-Reliance”, Emerson says,”Familiar as the voice of the mind is to each, the highest merit was ascribe to Moses, Plato, and Milton is, that they set at naught books and traditions, and spoke not what men but what they thought.” (Emerson, 1). Following Emerson’s idea of individualism, he implies that these powerful figures greater than life succeeded due to them following his philosophy, which is an excellent analogy because this makes the readers believe that we should aspire to Emerson’s teachings because these people have done so.

Originally posted by rebel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22CPQoLE4U0 http://www.chaffey.edu/english/handbook/abfaq.htm http://www.chaffey.edu/english/handbook/epab.pdf

Originally posted by SHICD This is not college level writing. Speak what you are saying before you type it. You, like many other people, have a tendency to write too many words for a single idea. Condense your thoughts, get straight to the point, and cut out anything that isn't essential. Think about the prof reading this... they don't have time for you to consult a thesaurus or repeat the same thing or not have a clear focus Edit: wait are you in hs or uni?

highschool junior