ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Kelly Clarkson Moons Passengers; Unleashes Thunderous Belch
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/13252219-post2830.html
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Last night, a good friend and I were flying LGA-DFW on AA #787 after a wknd in NYC. Sitting at Gate D4 about 15 minutes prior to boarding, a group of 6 people who were dressed extremely casual to say the least (think sweat pants and t-shirts) hurridly entered the gate area. They were loud, they were chomping down on Auntie Anne's pretzel covered hot dogs, and they were carrying a gazillion pieces of carry-on luggage. One young woman in the crowd ran off to do something and came back, stood about one foot away from me and let out the world's biggest belch. Now since D4 is a small gate area, EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE heard it in the gate area. The young woman then proceeded to say, "Oh my Gosh I am so sorry! That was totally disqusting, sorry everyone!" I was mostly just shocked a belch like that could come out of such a small woman.
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A few minutes later, they call F class boarding and we take our seats. Sure enough, the group of 6 people surrounded us up in F class. We were like OMG are you kidding me!? We were tired, we were cranky and all we wanted was an enjoyable, peaceful flight. The young woman who had let out a belch equivalent to an earthquake aftershock was now blocking the aisle trying to take stuff out of a big blue carry-on bag so it would wedge in the overhead. She then drops a couple of things on the floor and bends over about 6 inches in front of me. So there I was with a front and center view of about 2 inches of ... crack and a purple lace thong just staring right at me.
After getting her dropped belongings up off the floor, she says, "Sorry everyone! Are we all having fun yet!?. Gotta love traveling!"
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Then suddenly it hit me. It all came into focus and I realized what had all just unfolded. I had just come within mere inches of Kelly Clarkson's thong, ... crack, and her earth-rumbling Auntie Anne belch. To make 100 % certain it was her, we used the handy GoGo wifi and googled Kelly Clarkson Mom and Kelly Clarkson tattoos, sure enough it all matched up to a tee. Cus part of me was still thinking, no way is the put-together young woman I always see on TV this same person belching and mooning half the F class cabin. So Miss Kelly can definitely bust out a belch like she can a high note on stage.
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