50. Michael Jackson - Xscape
As if listening to Michael Jackson wasn’t already creepy enough, now you can listen to super ancient recordings of him sing over new records distributed by the greedy, evil doers of his estate. Even without the drama, these records sound like material written by Kara Dioguardi for American Idol’s late 2000s R&B contestants.
49. Cher Lloyd - Sorry I’m Late
Late for…? Avril Lavigne’s follow up to The Best Damn Thing? Cher you can stay home. Absence excused.
48. Sia - 1000 Forms of Fear
Chandelier was great, this album… not so much. It sounds like Dido trying to reinvent herself for the current decade. I can almost guarantee whoever manages Sia is pushing her into the vacant Dido spot on the charts/in the industry. But… it hasn’t really caught on yet. For good reason, too. I prefer what Sia was doing on We Are Born (2010).
47. Lily Allen - Sheezus
The worst, most unfunny joke of the year. I’ve never been a huge fan of this artist but she always managed to bring at least two or three great tunes with every release. There were only a couple ~cute songs on Sheezus and the rest of the content made them sound worse than they really were. She was better off making “Sheezus” some kind of another racist jab at Azealia Banks.
46. Sam Smith - In The Lonely Hour
Another American Idol record but his shtick does work and by that I mean the emotion he was conveying on this album was genuine.
45. Clean Bandit - New Eyes
Possibly the laziest album of the year. It sounds like they learned Logic last summer and they released the first set of songs they could come up with. However, I don’t know if their singers create the melodies or what but there are a few decent ones.
44. Mariah Carey - Me. I Am Mariah…. The Elusive Chanteuse
Why are so many people praising this album? While “#Beautiful” is definitely one of the best songs of the decade so far, I love “Thirsty”, and I sorta-kinda-really like “You Don’t Know What To Do,” this album is full of UNBEARABLE ballads. I would rather be Mariah’s personal assistant during her breakdown (or any day) than listen to the bulk of this album.
43. Chris Brown - X
42. Rick Ross - Hood Billionaire
41. Trey Songz - Trigga
40. Maroon 5 - V
I’m pretty sure this has earned its spot on everyone’s “worst of” lists so I won’t do any dragging. I will take the time to praise its best song, “Unkiss Me” though. It reminds me of Britney’s BOMT era ballads.
39. Foo Fighters - Sonic Highways
38. Karmin - Pulses
"Brokenhearted" promised a surprise quality release but in the end we got trash. Oh well.
37. One Direction - Four
I just don't get it. There is nothing exciting about their music, at all. A bunch of Nicholas Sparks-esque one liners. I love 90s boybands so you can't say I'm "stuck up" or whatever... this group just sucks.
36. Tiësto - A Town Called Paradise
35. Dillon Francis - Money Sucks, Friends Rule
This is a pointless release. It's just not an album, it's a collection of singles... some terrible, some okay but mostly just plain bad. Francis should stick to releasing quickies on beatport.
34. Neon Trees - Pop Psychology
If your average ATRL'r made an album.
33. Jason Derulo - Talk Dirty
I'd rather listen to him sing his name filtered through effects than listen to this album. No really, I think I'd actually enjoy that.
32. Redinho - Redinho
31. Skrillex - Recess
Skrillex is one of the worst things to ever happen to music. I use "Stranger" though.
30. 50 Cent - Animal Ambition: An Untamed Desire To Win
29. T.I. - Paperwork
lmao what is this
28. Alex Clare - Three Hearts
He had a very good debut but these sound like scraps.
27. Afrojack - Forget The World
26. Keyshia Cole - Point of No Return
I was rooting for her.
25. Rick Ross - Mastermind
Super cool album artwork. So cool I thought I was going to like it. I did not.
24. Sean Paul - Full Frequency
he used to provide high quality bops. those days are long gone it seems.
23. 311 - Stereolithic
lol what are they doing? it's like visiting your hometown and seeing that one guy still working at a drive thru.
22. Wiz Khalifa - Blacc Hollywood
21. Jessie J - Sweet Talker
let me skip my decibel joke and just say, avoid this at all costs.
20. Broods - Evergreen
I kinda thought they'd be good but nope.
19. Aloe Blacc - Lift Your Spirit
18. BANKS - Goddess
"Beggin For Thread" is a great song. The rest range from fine to atrocious. Overall,
17. Pharrell - G I R L
16. Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Wanderlust
C'mon, girl. You're much better than this.
15. Paloma Faith - A Perfect Contradiction
lol
14. Young Money - Rise of an Empire
lol
13. Cheryl Cole - Only Human
12. Jennifer Hudson - JHUD
11. Foxes - Glorious
just, no.
10. EMA - The Future’s Void
horrid
09. Magic! - Don’t Kill The Magic
08. Sun Kil Moon - Benji
My Grandpa's journal teas.
07. Jennifer Lopez - A.K.A.
trash
06. Nickelback - No Fixed Address
Liars. I'm pretty sure they have a fixed address on everyone's worst of lists.
05. Nicole Scherzinger - Big Fat Lie
painful
04. David Guetta - Listen
don't listen
03. Lea Michele - Louder
*mutes*
02. Linkin Park - The Hunting Party
garbage.
01. A Great Big World - Is There Anybody Out There?
If you're wondering what One Direction's attempt at a Ben Folds Five record would sound like, here's 44 minutes of drivel to satisfy your curiosity.