Jinzo has enjoyed 2012 on ATRL. And has enjoyed 2012's music too. And is now making a List of these things. Except the list is late. And won't start till after 2012. And isn't a rounded-off number that ends in a zero or five.
I made the title graphic in like 4 minutes using "Cher Lloyd crying" on Google Images. It's the best I can manage.
I will include these things:
- 51 songs I think are good, great, stonking etc
- 21 members that have brightened up my day
- 7 artists that I have SNUBBED and IGNORED for hardly valid at all reasons
I will post the FIRST update on January 1st, 2013. (If I am not too hungover).
Are you prepared for ICONIC usage of Microsoft Paint and Times New Roman font?
NO YOU ARE NOT. Until then, here is a picture of bald Rihanna:
51. Cascada- Rhythm of the Night
50. Trashi Garbaj ft. Casket- The Boys
49. Swedish House Mafia- Dog Song
48. Cheryl Hole- Under the Sun
47. Khia- F*ck a Promo
46. Emeli Sandé- Hope
45. Global Superstar Cher Lloyd ft. Sean Kingston- Rum and Raybans
44. Icona Pop ft. Charli XCX- I Love It
43. Carly Rae Jepsen- This Kiss
42. Kylie Minogue- Timebomb
41. Kelly Clarkson ft. Vince Gill- Don't Rush
40. Alexandra Burke- Fire
39. All Time Low- Somewhere in Neverland
38. Kelis- Distance
Absolute cack at its very finest. Far more likely to be clogging up dancefloors in Latvia than in anyone else’s ATRL countdown, Cascada pretty much defines what it means to be ‘past your time’. Like a fine….cheese, ROTN lives up to its acronym in every sense of the word. So bad it’s good, so cheesy it’s…toast?
And....who is the rapper? Flo Rida's cousin....Caro Lina? Ver Mont?
No stranger to the Bubbling Under Charts, Nicki & Cassie teamed up on this one to…less than rapturous applause. For what Cassie giveth us in camel toe and semi-shaven head fashion, she taketh away with all the vocal personality of a Laser Printer. Luckily, Nicki ‘smashes it’ with verses about going to Haiti with Haitians and having lots of juice. Which is a bit insensitive, given the Haitian famine.
I had to include a song with a dog in the title. Here it is. It would have charted higher, save for the missing ingredient…vocals. Greyhound is like the ****** vodka on the back shelf at the store. Good if you just want to serve the purpose of getting drunk, but a bit **** if you just have it all alone. What Greyhound really needed was that dash of Orange Juice (or whatever Americans have). I always imagine a Rihanna vocal over that towering middle section. #1 on lock.
Natural enemy of Cher Lloyd alert! The Nidorino to my Nidorina, the hot to my cold, the mentor to my mentee. It’s “Cheryl Hole”, as I call her again and again and again in SYG. I’ve gotta admit, I don’t mind her snatching 48th place on the list. She deserves 48th place for this ‘classy’ number. The vocals still sound like they’ve been processed through a microwave.
