A Year in Review
So, I don’t know if you heard, but there’s this chick named Adele, and apparently she was, like, really huge in 2011. Oh, you already knew? Oh, you’re moved to tears every time she comes on the radio? Oh, you keep the booklet for 21 in a frame on your mantle? Oh, you found the sheet music for “Someone Like You,” memorized a few broken triads, and posted a video of your cover version on YouTube? Oh, you’re giving everyone on your Christmas list a copy of her album? Oh, you’re applying for British citizenship? Oh, you can no longer associate with me because I haven’t purchased her album and do not intend to recognize “Someone Like You” as one of my favorite singles of 2011? Oh, you think you’re better than me?
********! I’ve got good taste. I’m cultured. For example, I found all 38 minutes of Jedward's Victory to be very enjoyable.
Criteria
Only songs released as singles during 2011 (promotional singles, in some cases) have been included in this list.
No Adele. No Bruno Mars.
Basically, that’s it. I realize that strictly adhering to his format has its limitations, but I have certain anal retentive tendencies that prevent me from bending my “rules” too much. For example, a single released on December 31, 2010 (that wasn’t a Tuesday, but you get the idea) is ineligible to appear on this year's chart, even though it’s fairly unlikely that I would have recognized said song in my 2010 write-ups. Likewise, songs released towards the end of 2011 are at a possible disadvantage as they may be overlooked for this year’s list, and are ineligible for inclusion during the next go-around.
What to Expect When You’re Expecting This List to be Horrible
You should expect this list to be chock full of horrible, cringe-worthy, and massively commercial tunes. I’ve made some lengths to expand my musical horizons during 2011, but as much as I was almost-sorta-kinda infatuated with, for example, Feist’s Metals, (elitist music aficionados will surely cringe over the fact that Feist is about as non-mainstream as I get) I can’t deny my true self and pretend that I found it more enjoyable than Britney’s Femme Fatale. In the interest of honesty, I must compile a list that’s a reflection of my love of commercial pop and dance tunes. In some strange way, I take pride in the fact that I enjoy what most people would deem soulless, or disposable, or just plain bad. To love crap for the sake of loving crap is just as pathetic as loving Pitchfork-approved material simply because it’s Pitchfork approved, but I really love crap! And I feel like I’m doing something honorable when I insist that Miranda Cosgrove’s “Dancing Crazy” is an oft-overlooked, gem of 2010. (The fact that it wasn't included in last year’s list of favorite singles in inexcusable. Such a huge oversight on my part. Did you hear me say that? Di-di-did you hear me say that? SMACK!) 2011 was such a strong year for crap that my Bubbling Under addendum has grown to include 20 singles (not counting ties) that I felt were almost worthy of inclusion on my list 50 favorites. Maybe that’s excessive, but I had to make room for Britney and three less famous/beautiful/talented/interesting chicks who also released some notable material in 2011.
I'm in love with your writing so I know it will be a pleasant read !
BTW crap songs are essential to the balance of the music world. Not only are they often VERY enjoyable, they also make good scapegoat for the uninspired lessors !
For example, I found all 35 minutes of Planet Jedward to be very enjoyable.
Remove yourself from your moderator position right now. Resign. Tonight.
In all seriousness, I like the Mission Statement that you made in your first post almost as much as the banner. And I guess I can live with Adele not showing up at all if that means we also get the brilliance that is "Gucci Gucci" in its place. Or "Insert song that I love that a lot of people either love or hate here."
Oh, you can no longer associate with me because I haven’t purchased her album and do not intend to recognize “Someone Like You” as one of my favorite singles of 2011?
Ugh, basically. Please never write on my wall again—I'll probably be too busy playing 21 alone in my room and crying about how hard my life is.
But seriously, I'm psyched for this! I can totally relate to your sentiment about enjoying Femme Fatale more than almost any other album this year, despite my best efforts to expand my musical horizons, so I'm excited to see your picks. Bring on the gloriously low-brow commercial pop music!
Bubbling Under Chart: #70-66 "Didn't we almost have it all?" Well, no, you didn't even land somewhere in the middle of the main chart.
#70Avicii - Fade Into Darkness
Once upon a time a fair-haired, Swedish, pixie-boy happened upon a cracked copy of Lennar Digital’s Sylenth1 and a bland piano loop consisting of a mere two measures. He loaded his (most likely *******ed) copy of Image Line’s FL Studio on his laptop, placed a few instances of the piano loop in the sequencer, and blew a fistful of glitter and flaxen hair at his computer screen. A perfectly boring, instrumental, house tune was born. The boy would name his beloved track “Penguin,” his reasoning being that penguins are in many ways very unlike horses. “No damn horse will ever sing neigh over top of my tracks!” declared the boy. Meanwhile, in a distant kingdom, a My Little Pony who once won a massively popular, televised, talent competition dreamed of revitalizing her career. She toyed with the idea of releasing some adult contemporary schlock, (as she had been instructed to do by her handlers) but that hadn’t really worked in her favor the last time she tried. Her only option, she decided, was to tell Ryan Tedder to **** off. She would send a carrier pigeon to France with a plea for the services of a talented (?) dance-pop producer. Surely, she thought, someone who knew Solveig or Guetta would intercept her cry for help. Waiting for her hit-making prince to arrive, she prayed that she would not be punished for her disobedience, but she realized the risk she was taking and tears flowed down her furry cheeks as she remembered the last time she had been forced to rub her snout on Simon Cowell’s wiry chest hairs (OUCH!) in reparation for some transgression. Mounted atop a mighty stallion and bearing gift of piano-laden house tune, Sandy Vee bounded gloriously into the horizon. “I did this all by mah self,” Vee shouted as he approached and handed her a CD with the words “This is not Avicii’s track!” sprawled across its label. They went into My Little Pony’s stable and began work on the track that would become “Collide,” a romantic number about two star-crossed Appaloosas crashing into each other during a polo match. Thrilled with her new venture, My Little Pony began to circulate her tune to all the important stations in the land. Radios 1 through 54 gave the track numerous spins, My Little Pony racked up another UK top 5, and despite the generally lukewarm public reception, all seemed to be going well. But there was trouble brewing. Having caught wind that his tune was being peddled around to various outlets featuring the vocals of A DAMN HORSE, our fair-haired, Swedish, pixie-boy declared his revenge. Not only would he demand credit for his contributions to My Little Pony’s latest hit in the form of an awkward (yet appropriately dissociative) forward-slash between their names, he would also rework and re-release a superior version of the track in question under his Avicii moniker. The resulting track, “Fade Into Darkness,” managed to become my 70th favorite single of 2011. Truthfully, Avicii is capable of more. When listening to this tune, I find myself wishing that there were something more in terms of lush atmosphere. I find myself wishing that he had gone the route of Chicaneand borrowed from one of those sereneSigur Ros tunes. Yeah, that’s how you incorporate a piano bit into your housey tune. Oddly enough, the most appealing aspect of this track is that mean-nothing, no-better-than-average, vocal. Those strained performances from anonymous males are incredibly well-suited to so many of these otherwise forgettable house tunes. (I mean, who really enjoyed the instrumental version of this?) It’s the perfect thing to mindlessly scream as you’re driving around.
The Best Bit: The wo-ah-oh-oh-ooohs that come in with the final chorus are quite catchy. They’re reminiscent of the wo-ah-oh-oh-ooohs featured in Britney’s “Till the World Ends” and every major pop song of the past three years.
#69Mike Posner - Looks Like Sex
Just a standard Mike Posner sex jam – that doesn’t provide me with much material on which to comment. He’s a bit of a tool, isn’t he? And despite that, I still find Mike Posner incredibly sexy… like, a lot sexier than I should. (One might say he looks like sex.) There’s something incredibly seductive about his delivery, which is really just a white boy’s best imitation of Weezy. So, I suppose the question I should be asking myself is this: Do I want to have with Lil Wayne? I’m not above it for purposes of blackmail and bragging rights, but we’ll perish the thought.
The Best Bit: “That ass makes me wanna oooh-ooh-oooooooh.”
#68Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Starlight
Zzz-zzz-zzz-zzz-zzz-zzz-zzz-zzz-zzz.
The Best Bit: Zzz-zzz-zzz-zzz-zzz-zzz-zzz-zzz-zzz.
#67Swedish House Mafia - Save the World
Apocalyptipop – It’s everywhere. Ignore the misleading title, this isn’t really a tune for the end times, but it damn well should be. Saving the world, though? That’s an awfully onerous task for a song of this caliber. I wouldn’t depend on Swedish House Mafia to save house music, much less an entire planet, particularly when they allow a hack like Axwell to take part in their conglomerate DJ troop. But despite all its short comings, “Save the World” offers a lot to be enjoyed. It’s pumped full with wonderfully chunky percussion, middling lyrics about fields, streets and turning up the love, and (most importantly) some superb Till the World Ends-ian chants.
The Best Bit: “Oh-oh-ooooh-oh. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Oh-oh-ooooh-oh. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.”
#66Orange Music Factory - Artificial People (feat. Tinashe)
“All I know is that we are not machines.” Various manipulations applied to your vocal suggests otherwise. “There’s no way to fake a human being.” Robots. “But I don’t know what is real and what is fantasy.” Delusional. I think it a bit absurd to condemn artificiality when one makes a decent amount of bread (these guys have produced for Jay Sean, among others) off of an industry that lauds contrived personas, and is marketing a tune laden with, of all things, artificial instrumentation. This is very standard, characterless dance-pop, and while I’d like to give Orange Music Factory (What in the name of Rebecca Black vanity labels?) the benefit of the doubt and suggest that the entire affair is meant to be a little bit tongue-in-cheek, I don’t imagine they’re truly that clever. This is a standard rehashing of a thousand dance-pop tunes that are themselves rehashed. But don’t get it twisted, this a pretty fantastic rehashing. Tinashe, (Tinawho?) best known for nothing and doing some attention *****y stuff with some assistance from Britney, makes a splendid effort to sell an absurd premise. OMF’s production is pleasantly crisp. As I revisit this track, I’m tempted to bump it up 2 or twenty spots on my countdown. It’s quite good. Some may question my decision to include this particular song when all I’ve done is nitpick, but this one had to be mentioned if for no other reason than the fact that it features my second favorite instance of Till the World Ends-ian chanting of 2011.