And we have a "winner"!
Worth It - Fifth Harmony feat. Kid Ink
"Remember when I said that despite all its problems, I liked the beat to Jason Derulo's 'Talk Dirty'? I think maybe I didn't, because here's a song that lifts the song's sax riff—I mean it's basically identical—and I hate every second of it!
Can I ask? Who the **** is Fifth Harmony? I know close to nothing about this group. The only thing I've gathered is that they have one of the most bizarrely intense fandoms this side of My Little Pony. I do find it interesting that Fifth Harmony don't do a second of actual harmonizing on this song...on the evidence of this, they seem to be the answer to the question, 'What if the Pussycat Dolls had even less charisma or talent?'
There must be something I'm missing here, 'cause again, Fifth Harmony have a crazy nuts fanbase, but I certainly couldn't tell you what. This is pointless, sexless, and empty. It's just a hollow shell of a song. Another one of those pop songs that I figure all pop songs sound like to people who hate pop songs.
What this reminds me most of is a low-rent will.i.am song. Just...a bunch of hooks slammed together soullessly and incoherently.
God, I miss the Spice Girls."
Wiggle - Jason Derulo feat. Snoop Dogg
"There was basically no chance that anything else was gonna top the Worst list this year. In fact, I was having nightmares that something would come along that was somehow worse. Like, I'd call up my friends in the middle of the night, and they'd have to reassure me that, 'no, Todd, you're being silly. Nothing like that could ever happen.'
But you know how it is with trauma—it only has to happen once, and you're looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life.
Just like 'Shake It Off,' I could make a Top 10 list out of the worst moments of just this song. Hell, I could make a Top 20 out of that!
Quote:
You know what to do with that big, fat butt
|
Yeah, that would be on there.
Quote:
Go ahead and go ham sammich
|
Yup.
Wait, hold on, I missed that one. Did I hear that right? Did he just go, 'schwing'? Wow, what a clever reference. NOT!
'Wiggle' is one of those insta-bad songs that everyone everywhere knows exactly where they were the first time they heard it. This is legitimately the worst ass song that has ever been made. Yes, worse than 'My Humps'. The king has been dethroned.
There was once a time where I was blessedly ignorant about what to do with that big, fat butt, but those innocent days are over. Thanks, Jason DeRulo. Now please shut your big, fat mouth."
Final Results:
25. Just Lose It - Eminem
24. Down on Me - Jeremih feat. 50 Cent
23. Back in Time - Pitbull
22. Look at Me Now - Chris Brown feat. Busta Rhymes & Lil Wayne
21. Teach Me How to Dougie - Cali Swag District
20. Show Me - Kid Ink feat. Chris Brown
19. One More Try - Timmy T
18. Baby Boy - Beyonce feat. Sean Paul
17. Why? - Jadakiss
16. Kiss Me Thru the Phone - Soulja Boy Tellem feat. Sammie
15. My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light 'Em Up) - Fall Out Boy
14. Wanted - Hunter Hayes
13. Eenie Meenie - Sean Kingston & Justin Bieber
12. Nasty Freestyle - T-Wayne
11. Only - Nicki Minaj feat. Drake, Lil Wayne and Chris Brown
10. #selfie - The Chainsmokers
9. Because I Love You (The Postman Song) - Stevie B
8. She Looks So Perfect - 5 Seconds of Summer
7. Birthday Cake - Rihanna feat. Chris Brown
6. Same Old Love - Selena Gomez
5. Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae) - Silento
4. Blah Blah Blah - Kesha feat. 3OH!3
Diva - Beyonce
Wiggle - Jason Derulo feat. Snoop Dogg
Worth It - Fifth Harmony feat. Kid Ink
And at long last, the game is over! Thanks for playing, everyone!