Another one? Really? Eh, well I'm here and I made a graphic, might as well, right?

Welcome to the NINTH set of the Best and the Worst in Music in 2013. As always, I am your crotchety host Mikal, and I shall be leading you through the noise that was this part year in a lovely six lists. That I'll be kind enough to spread out for once.

First off, the ground rules:

1) I ain't got time for your stanning so take it elsewhere. It's my list and as an actual full-grown adult who's old enough to be some of you's fathers (yay being 32 and such) I always appreciate people complementing the list. But bitching over placement shall not be tolerated.

2) Yes, there's a lot of British music on the list. But I live in the US. You'll deal.

3) Why yes, there are other languages making my list this year. It's exciting!

4) Yes, I'm bashing the hell out of country males this year. Cuz gatdamnit they basically ruined the genre this year.

5) Yes, Britney made the worst list again.

6) Yes, Bieber did too.

7) Sigh, yes Chris Brown did. Can we go on?

8) Yes, Taylor did. Now stop asking so many questions!!

Anywhoos, I've expanded the white nonsense this year to a whopping 50. That's how much music I liked. The countdowns shall start Wednesday (so I can finish graphics and a couple lists) but here's how things should be going:

12-17: A History Lesson on the Plus/Minus List
12-18: 50 Best Songs, Part 1 (50-37) (36-25)
12-19: 50 Best Songs, Part 2 (24-13) (12-1)
12-20: 50 Best Videos, Part 1 (50-38) (37-26)
12-21: 50 Best Videos, Part 2 (25-13) (12-1)
12-22: 50 Guilty Pleasures, Part 1 (50-38) (37-26)
12-23: 50 Guilty Pleasures, Part 2 (25-13) (12-1)
12-24: 50 Worst Videos, Part 1 (50-38) (37-26)
12-25: 50 Worst Videos, Part 2 (25-13)
12-26: 50 Worst Videos, Part 3 (12-1)
12-27: 50 Worst Songs, Part 1 (50-38) (37-26)
12-28: 50 Worst Songs, Part 2 (25-13)
12-29: 50 Worst Songs, Part 3 (12-1)
12-30: 50 Albums of the Year, Part 1
12-31: 50 Albums of the Year, Part 2

See you all soon

No stans. That's the way I like it. Must be interesting.

Lots of guilty pleasures. We'll probably coincide in a couple of them. Looking forward to this!

Can't wait

Britney & Bieber in the worst list lol
British music is the best in the world! I'm here for this

Taylor did tho? Bye.

It appears someone missed the first note on the list Besides, it's been a Mikal tradition since whenever she started she makes the naughty list.

Bring it on! I always like brutal honesty.

I always read your Eurovision coverage blogs and I'm looking forward to this.

can't wait to see the countdowns.

I was certain that you weren't going to do this again this year, and I'm SO glad that you did. Another of my personal favorite year-enders, no matter how often we disagree on music.

Hello, I swore you weren't doing one this year so imagine my surprise to see you starting it yesterday and such. Eh, I'm still on the board even if I'm so far out of the age bracket of this place, might as well piss off the churren. Loyal to a fault

cant wait

Update!



I just discovered this is the NINTH Best of List I've done on the site. Jesus Mary Joseph and the camel they all rode in on take the wheel from me!!



So a mini reminder of how bad music has been tomorrow

ATRL for life. ATRL til the day we die.

...

Okay, probably not until the day we did. But, um...yeah.

Taylor on the naughty list

Even if she didn't release any music would you find a way to put her on the naughty list?

I'm pretty sure there was a year where she released music and didn't make the list, but don't quote me. Her music's just so easy to hate She almost missed out this year until I was reminded of "22" although she was gonna make it due to Tim McGraw's stupid "Highway Don't Care" video.

So, as a beginning to the holiday season, let's all reminisce over my previous eight Best of lists and see just how horrible my choices have aged.

Truthfully, they haven't aged that badly.

2005
My first Best of list! And I had my first set of Worsts, possibly the only one at the time doing hateration #myimpact #theybadI'mmad #immabereal #hashtag #yourfaveswillnever #whatisthepointofhastagbragging

Worst Five Videos of the Year
05 "First," Lindsay Lohan
04 "Hung Up," Madonna
03 "Untitled (How Did This Happen To Me)," Simple Plan
02 "Trapped In The Closet (Parts 1-5)," R.Kelly
01 "These Boots Are Made For Walking," Jessica Simpson

Remember when Lindsay sung horribly and Herbie hit on her? Remember Madonna playing DDR? Or when she harkened the Return of the Snapcrotch? Remember Simple Plan at all? Remember how R.Kelly was making new videos about his rambling Tyler Perry plot? Remember when Jessica couldn't was a car correctly?

Worst Five Songs of the Year
05 "Hate It Or Love It," The Game ft. 50 Cent
04 "Beat Of My Heart," Hillary Duff
03 "Ass Like That," Eminem
02 "These Boots Are Made For Walking," Jessica Simpson
01 "Trapped In The Closet (Parts 1-5)," R.Kelly

I actually forgot how much I hate the Duff song.

Best Five Videos of the Year
Er...I apparently skipped this concept that year. Sigh.

Best Five Songs of the Year
05 "Golddigger," Kanye West ft. Jamie Foxx
04 "Bucky Done Gun," M.I.A.
03 "DARE," Gorillaz
02 "Do U Want To," Franz Ferdinand
01 "Biology," Girls Aloud

Top 5 Albums of the Year
05 Silent Alarm, Bloc Party
04 Get Behind Me, Satan, The White Stripes
03 You Could Have It So Much Better, Franz Ferdinand
02 Extraordinary Machine, Fiona Apple
01 Arular, M.I.A.

2006
In 2006 we had the first ever track pull a double by making it onto the list in Back-To-Back years. And while I usually limit tracks to a year only (hence why you won't see "Thrift Shop" or "Same Love" this year) I usually make exceptions for truly horrible songs. Yes, I'm making penance to Beyoncé this year but in hindsight I wasn't wrong with hating these songs.

Worst Five Videos of the Year
05 "A Public Affair," Jessica Simpson
04 "I Write Sins, Not Tragedies," Panic! At The Disco
03 "So Excited," Janet Jackson ft. Khia
02 "Check On It," Beyoncé
01 "Deja Vu," Beyoncé

Worst Five Songs of the Year
05 "U & Dat," E-40 ft. T-Pain
04 "Me & U," Cassie
03 "Saying Sorry," Hawthorne Heights
02 "A Public Affair," Jessica Simpson
01 "Deja Vu," Beyoncé

Best Five Videos of the Year
05 "Knights of Cydonia," Muse
04 "Rise Up With Fists," Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
03 "SexyBack," Justin Timberlake ft. Timbaland
02 "Here It Goes Again," OK Go
01 "Crazy," Gnarls Barkley

Can I say in advance I'm heartbrowken we didn't get THIS Justin back this year?

Best Five Songs of the Year
05 "SexyBack," Justin Timberlake ft. Timbaland
04 "Rise Up With Fists," Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
03 "S.O.S.," Rihanna
02 "Crazy," Gnarls Barkley
01 "I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor," Arctic Monkeys

Top 5 Albums of the Year
01 Whatever They Say I Am, That's What I'm Not, Arctic Monkeys

So the Monkeys have finished in the top 5 with their four previous albums (5 if we include Alex's side project The Last Shadow Puppets. Who need to do another album NOW). With they make it a perfect 5 out of 5? Yes. But you have to wait to see where in the top 5 they finish!

2007
2007 was the height of me losing my mind with music. Well, I doubt I'll ever not lose my mind over horrible music but 2007 was a really really rough year all around.

Worst Five Videos of the Year
05 "Freakdum Dress," Beyoncé
04 "Easy," Paula DeAnda
03 "Give It 2 Me," Timbaland ft. Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado
02 "Girlfriend," Avril LAvigne
01 "Better Than Me," Hinder

And no, no matter how many drag queens I see do "Easy" will I ever like or enjoy that song. This is also the only year we see a rock video make it to the top of the worst videos. And only the second or "three" rock videos (depending on how we define Maroon 5, except for craptacular) that finish this high.

Worst Five Songs of the Year
05 "Crank That (Superman)," Souljaboy Tell'em
04 "Better Than Me," Hinder
03 "Easy," Paula DeAnda
02 "Beautiful Girl," Sean Kingston
01 "Summer Love," Justin Timberlake

Best Five Videos of the Year
05 "Brianstorm," Arctic Monkeys
04 "Kiss You Off," Scissor Sisters
03 "Icky Thump," The White Stripes
02 "Catch You," Sophie Ellis-Bextor
01 "Earth Intruder," Bjork

And I still say "Catch You" is a better-formatted version of "Deja Vu."

Best Five Songs of the Year
05 "Icky Thump," The White Stripes
04 "Sober," Kelly Clarkson
03 "Brianstorm," Arctic Monkeys
02 "Sexy! No No No...," Girls Aloud
01 "Fluorescent Adolescence," Arctic Monkeys

OK, I'd probably drop "Brianstorm" to 6 so that "Rehab" could have it's spot...

Top 5 Albums of the Year
05 Tangled Up, Girls Aloud
04 Back To Black, Amy Winehouse
03 Kala, M.I.A.
02 Favourite Worst Nightmare, Arctic Monkeys
01 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Miranda Lambert


2008
This year was at least interesting musically. A lot of badness everywhere but a lot that, in a Best of Best of countdown would make the list

Worst Five Videos of the Year
05 "Reach Out," Hillary Duff
04 "Overdosin," Heidi Montag
03 "Touch My Body," Mariah Carey
02 "Outta My Head (Ay Yi Yi)," Ashlee Simpson
01 "Piece Of Me," Britney Spears

Ya know what, Ashlee's video wasn't that bad. I'll own up to that as an error.

Worst Five Songs of the Year
05 "Outta My Head (Ay Yi Yi)," Ashlee Simpson
04 Anything "released" by Heidi Montag that year
03 "Reach Out," Hillary Duff
02 "Touch My Body," Mariah Carey
01 "Love In This Club," Usher

But her song is still atrocious. Not as bad as LITC, which may be the worst song ever....that has not competed to represent Bulgaria at Eurovision.

Best Five Videos of the Year
05 "Mercy (UK Edit)," Duffy
04 "The Loving Kind," Girls Aloud
03 "Love Lockdown," Kanye West
02 "Honey," Erykah Badu
01 "Flashing Lights," Kanye West

Best Five Songs of the Year
05 "Flashing Lights," Kanye West
04 "Gunpowder and Lead," Miranda Lambert
03 "Mercy," Duffy
02 "Black & Gold," Sam Sparro
01 "Chasing Pavement," Adele

Note that this is the only Adele song to top my Best of list.

Top 5 Albums of the Year
05 Intimacy, Bloc Party
04 New Amerykah, Part 1 (4th World War), Erykah Badu
03 N*****, Nas
02 Age Of The Understatement, The Last Shadow Puppets
01 Coal, Kathy Mattea

Back to back country albums atop the best of lists!

Part 2 in the next post!

I had to split that wall of text!


2009
Ah 2009, the year Kesha, Guetta and Gaga entered out lives.

Worst Five Videos of the Year
05 "We Made You," Eminem
04 "Tik Tok," Ke$ha
03 "3," Britney Spears
02 "When Love Takes Over," David Guetta ft. Kelly Rowland
01 "Best I Ever Had," Drake

Honestly, WLTO was plugged into the Worst Videos list at the last second due to me discovering I was short an entry (I think Ke$ha moved from 2 to 4 while Britney stayed put at 3 for that half-assed attempt at dancing). But looking at it now it's still totally unremarkable and really has less than nothing to do with the song.

Worst Five Songs of the Year
05 "Body Language," Jesse McCartney
04 "If U Seek Amy," Britney Spears
03 "The Warning," Eminem
02 "Best I Ever Had," Drake
01 "Kiss Me Thru The Phone," SouljaBoy Tell'em

OK, maybe KMTTP is worse than LITC...

Best Five Videos of the Year
05 "Strawberry Swing," Coldplay
04 "Crying Lightning," Arctic Monkeys
03 "22," Lily Allen
02 "Leave!," VV Brown
01 "Ulysees," Franz Ferdinand

See Taylor, it's entirely possible to do a song about being 22 and not make people annoyed by your essence!

Best Five Songs of the Year
05 "Untouchable (Album Edit)," Girls Aloud
04 "Memory Of You (The Loving Kind B-Side)," Girls Aloud
03 "Ulysses," Franz Ferdinand
02 "Crying Lightning," Arctic Monkeys
01 "Cornerstore," Arctic Monkeys

Here I am doing my NME impersonation.

Top 5 Albums of the Year
05 Tonight, Franz Ferdinand
04 Lungs, Florence + The Machine
03 Middle Cyclone, Neko Case
02 Travelling Like The Light VV Brown
01 Humbug, Arctic Monkeys

*spoilers* four of these artists made the Best Albums list this year! The fifth one probably would have had she released an album...

2010
Thank God for Robyn and Kanye, they saved the year!

Worst Five Videos of the Year
05 "Can't Be Tamed," Miley Cyrus
04 "Make My Heart," Toni Braxton
03 "Not Myself Tonight," Christina Aguilera
02 "Up Out My Face," Mariah Carey ft. Nicki Minaj
01 "Imma Be/Rock That Body," Black Eyed Peas

Well, we have the fall of BEP as "good," the rise of will.i.am as horrible and Miley trying her first rebellion phase. Which is why I'm so shocked her second rebellion phase has worked as well as it has.

Worst Five Songs of the Year
05 "Baby," Justin Bieber ft. Ludacris
04 "I'm Hot," Angelina somethingorother from Jersey Shore
03 "Somebody To Love," Justin Bieber ft. Usher
02 "Up Out My Face," Mariah Carey ft. Nicki Minaj
01 "Can't Be Tamed," Miley Cyrus

Remember when Bieber wasn't an aggravating man-child who needs to get the eff over himself, but just an aggravating teen with the hair of a middle-aged pottery store owner?

Best Five Videos of the Year
05 "This Too Shall Pass," OK Go
04 "Why Don't You Love Me," Beyoncé
03 "Stylo," Gorillaz
02 "Soldier Of Love," Sade
01 "Born Free," M.I.A.

Maya snatches her first of two Best Videos, while Sade was my treadmill song for six months. And can we talk about how WDYLM's random release and success should have clued EVERYONE in on Beyoncé pulling a massive stunt move like her release on Friday. And how, considering she was shooting things constantly while on tour AND THE LAST MINUTE OF THE GROWN WOMAN VIDEO LEAKED ON WEDNESDAY we all should have suspected something was up last week? I mean really now.

Best Five Songs of the Year
05 "Stylo," Gorillaz
04 "Rolling In The Deep," Adele
03 "Cosmic Love," Florence + The Machine
02 "Indestructable," Robyn
01 "Fembot," Robyn

I do love that Robyn out of nowhere released a track from the glorious Body Talk trilogy this summer.

Top 5 Albums of the Year
05 Contra, Vampire Weekend
04 That Guitar Song, Jamey Johnson
03 Brothers, The Black Keys
02 My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fairytale, Kanye West
01 Body Talk, Robyn

And here's my list for Pitchfork, I think.

2011
The rise of EDM and folk was rather prevalent this year. As well as the horribleness that Katy and Gaga would afflict onto all people

Worst Five Videos of the Year
05 "Moves Like Jagger," Maroon 5 ft. Christina Aguilera
04 "E.T.," Katy Perry ft. Kanye West
03 "Wonderland," Natalia Kills
02 "Judas," Lady Gaga
01 "T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever)," will.i.am ft. Jennifer Lopez and Mick Jagger

Jagger be Jaggering all over the place!

Worst Five Songs of the Year
05 "Swagger Jagger," Cher Lloyd
04 "Judas," Lady Gaga
03 "S&M (Rihmix)," Rihanna ft. Britney Spears
02 "The Lazy Song," Bruno Mars
01 "T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever)," will.i.am ft. Jennifer Lopez and Mick Jagger

Otherwise known as the worst Melodifestivalen semifinal ever!

Best Five Videos of the Year
05 "Beat Of My Drum," Nicola Roberts
04 "Crystalline," Bjork
03 "All of The Lights," Kanye West ft. Rihanna
02 "Gone Baby (Don't Be Long)," Erkyah Badu
01 "We Found Love," Rihanna

I'm trying really hard to not allow Nicola's poor behavior on the Ten promotion (and the Cherberla clique nonsense #TeamNuhdeen) not cloud my judgement of this song. I really am...

Best Five Songs of the Year
05 "Set Fire To The Rain," Adele
04 "Hellcat Spangled Shalalala," Arctic Monkeys
03 "Someone Like You," Adele
02 "Call Your Girlfriend," Robyn
01 "All Of The Lights," Kanye West ft. a bunch of people

Top 5 Albums of the Year
05 On A Mission, Katy B
04 Ceremonials, Florence + The Machine
03 Suck It And See, Arctic Monkeys
02 Helplessness Blues, Fleet Foxes
01 Bon Iver, Bon Iver


2012
Now last year was the rise of rap in the album list and where my complete irritation of Gaga emerges, since she charts on the worst video and worst song list with a 30 second teaser featuring her attempting to dance like she has the worst gas imaginable and is trying not to release it. And desecrating cakes.

Worst Five Videos of the Year
05 "Wide Awake," Katy Perry
04 "Domino," Jessie J
03 "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," Taylor Swift
02 "Back In Time," Pitbull
01 "Cake Like Lady Gaga," Lady Gaga

Worst Five Songs of the Year
05 "Cake Like Lady Gaga," Lady Gaga
04 "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," Taylor Swift"
03 "I Knew You Were Trouble," Taylor Swift
02 "Boyfriend," Justin Bieber
01 "Back In Time," Pitbull

What's sad is I would have taken CLLG over a good two thirds of ARTPOP. How I didn't know how good I had it

Best Five Videos of the Year
05 "R U Mine?" Arctic Monkeys
04 "N***** in Paris," Jay-Z and Kanye West
03 "No Church In The Wild," Jay-Z and Kanye West ft. The-Dream and Frank Ocean
02 "Take Care," Drake ft. Rihanna
01 "Bad Girls," M.I.A.

Honestly, you could have thrown those five in the air and picked any at random to win this year. All 5 are that good.

Best Five Songs of the Year
05 "Hold On," Alabama Shakes
04 "I Just Want A Lover," Will Young
03 "Sweet Nothing," Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch
02 "Take Care," Drake ft. Rihanna
01 "No Church In The Wild

Top 5 Albums of the Year
05 Master Of My Make-Believe, Santogold
04 channel Orange, Frank Ocean
03 good kid, m.A.A.A.d city, Kendrick Lamar
02 Life Is Good, Nas
01 Lonerism, Tame Impala

Ok, so I'm a bit humored at Tame holding off Kendrick.

And that's where I've been. Tomorrow we shall see where I'm going!

Have you liked any of your previous listed worst songs now?

The last gif made me lol.

LOOOONERISM!!!!!!!!!

Yes, two: If U Seek Amy and Best I Ever Had.

05 "Wide Awake," Katy Perry
03 "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," Taylor Swift
Boring music videos, terrible songs


02 "Outta My Head (Ay Yi Yi)," Ashlee Simpson

Maybe the song kinda sucks, but that's an amazing music video, her best to date

Anyway, can't wait for this year's list!