Only songs released as singles during 2013 (promotional singles and buzz songs, in some cases) have been included in this list.
Honor Godney.
Basically, that’s it. I realize that strictly adhering to his format has its limitations, but I have certain anal retentive tendencies that prevent me from bending my “rules” too much. For example, a single released on December 31, 2012 is ineligible for inclusion, even though it’s fairly unlikely that I would have recognized said song in my 2012 write-ups. Likewise, songs released towards the end of 2013 are at a possible disadvantage as they may have been overlooked for this year’s list, and will not be considered for inclusion in the next go-around.
"Didn't we almost have it all?" Well, no, you didn't even land somewhere in the middle of the main chart.
#50
Britney Spears
Ooh La La
Buzzkill chorus is a buzzkill. A smurf in the hand is worth a hearty laugh (at Britney her expense) and a Top 60 MEGAHIT on the Billboard Hot 100. Truly electrifying stuff.
The Best Bit: Two things: a) That "be.my.ooh.la.la. be.my.ooh.la.la." break, which, (for better or for worse) sounds like it could have been the "inspired" of work will.i.am. b) Helium-voiced cheerleading chants!
#49
Lana Del Rey
Young and Beautiful
Will you still love her in one year's time? #NoOscarNom
The Best Bit: The refreshing lack of "daddy" references and mumbled come-ons.
#48
Megan & Liz
Release You
Macy's scraped together the necessary funds to afford "the girls" (they're totally on that level) a little studio sesh with indisputable Pop Messiah, Max Martin (and his coterie of production partners); FUN! Still, it's no match for last year's "Call Me Maybe" companion piece.
The Best Bit: This one's for the girls
Messin' with the boys... like
He's the melody and she's background noise
Wait...
#47
Katy Perry
Unconditionally
I'm including this under the (un)condition(al) (un-con-dish-uh-na-lee) that Katy releases ***-approved, 90s club anthem, "Walking On Air" as her next single (although, at this point, I suppose I'll have to wait for "Dark Horse" to run its course laps). Should that not transpire, I'll probably come back and substitute Kylie's "Skirt" in this slot.
The whole thing kinda falls apart come peculiar lettuce-and-cheese-chopping *insert giant biblio* rap verse, but that's okay, cause... is that Dionne?!?! Holy 1995, Mel Gibson!
The Best Bit: These sweet dreams in motion
Feelings take over
Memories wide open
Summer keeps calling
"Didn't we almost have it all?" Well, no, you didn't even land somewhere in the middle of the main chart.
#45
Ke$ha
Crazy Kids (featuring will.i.am)
I merely tolerate Ke$ha. I adore will.i.can't, heard here doing the best.he.possibly.can. (Is that or ?) Dude's got mad jokes!
The Best Bit: Kissing while we talkin'
So I'm speaking with a mumble
Nemebenumunumbomumbodumbowumboumbo
#44
Daft Punk
Get Lucky (featuring Pharrell)
"You like Daft Punk, too?! **** yeah, man! Hey, somebody put on 'Get Lucky'!"
"Oh, actually, I'd prefer to listen to 'Digital Love', or anything else, really."
"Huh?"
The Best Bit: Pharrell.
#43
Carly Rae Jepsen
Tonight I'm Getting Over You
Arriving about a year too late with superfluous Nicki Minaj guest rap in tow, "Tonight I'm Getting Over You" is the sort of insta-hit material that might have given Miss Jepsen secure footing had "Call Me Maybe" died about a month sooner and her momentum not been squandered on the affable but lackluster, "This Kiss". "Tonight I'm Getting Over You" doesn't reinvent the wheel, but it nearly perfects a tried and true formula. It seems wholly unfair that Carly couldn't work this to her advantage. Kiss is and was one awful exercise in missed opportunities. I mean, "Turn Me Up", anyone?!
The Best Bit: We're not lovers
But more than friends
Put a flame to every single word you ever said
Robyn, is that you?
#42
Robin Thicke
Give it 2 U (featuring Kendrik Lamar)
I like to imagine this is the sort of thing JC Chasez might release in 2013 had his dreams of solo glory not fizzled out with the underperformance of his criminally underrated debut, Schizophonic. And he's such a sweet guy, too! Like, I think we all could root for JC. Some rapey douchebags just have all the luck.
The Best Bit: Bits sung in falsetto.
#41
The Wanted
We Own the Night
A rousing pub chant and ode to reckless good times, inspired, no doubt, by frontman (by virtue of his' being the only remotely recognizable face in the group— even if he is probably mistaken for Glee's Mark Salling, from time to time) Max George's liaisons with one "owner of the night," Lindsay Lohan.
The Best Bit: The plodding bassline that pairs so beautifully with the crisp percussion immediately caught my attention... but in the name of B*Witched above, is that a bagpipe bleeting atop the chorus?! So wow! Such amaze!
I love that a Patrick top 25 still includes 50 songs. I love that this list primarily exists so that Britney gets some year-end recognition. I love your best bits (as always). I love everything about this.
"Get Lucky" is obviously too low, but I respect that you were too busy this summer racking up those YouTube views for "Ooh La La" to fully appreciate its genius.
The JC Chasez comparison for "Give It 2 U" is on point! I love that song, perhaps subconsciously because it reminds me so much of the underappreciated masterpiece "Blowin' Me Up (With Her Love)."
Patrick, if I create a petition to get "Turn Me Up" released as the next single from Kiss, will you sign it?
I love that a Patrick top 25 still includes 50 songs. I love that this list primarily exists so that Britney gets some year-end recognition. I love your best bits (as always). I love everything about this.
Never really figured out counting.
Quote:
Patrick, if I create a petition to get "Turn Me Up" released as the next single from Kiss, will you sign it?
Honey sister girlfriend, you just point me in the direction of that petition and I promise to get thousands of signatures.
"Didn't we almost have it all?" Well, no, you didn't even land somewhere in the middle of the main chart.
#40
The Wanted
Walks Like Rihanna
The second half of this Wanted double-whammy pays loving tribute to Mrs. Beyoncé Giselle Knowles Carter. But it certainly doesn't lovingly tribute the boybands of popular music's past, and it's a bit of a sin that these chaps are under the impression that they are in any way cool enough to parody the Backstreet Boys (et al.) in this video. Whoever gave them that idea should probably be taken out back and shot in the head made to listen to The Wanted albums on repeat. They can't sing, they can't dance, but who cares? No, really, who cares about The Wanted? ****ing wankers.
The Best Bit: You totally laughed out loud the first time you heard it, because, um, it could be a brilliantly satirical statement about our glorification of talentless females, but it could just as believably be an earnest, but clumsily-written, pop confection, ala Emblem3's "Chloe (You're the One I Want).
#39
Emblem3
Chloe (You're the One I Want)
Speaking of...
Like a classic Sugar Ray summertime single reimagined for the enjoyment of tweenage Twitterers. The boys have a hand in writing this stuff. Maybe they shouldn't?
The Best Bit: "Chloe, you're not nearly as attractive as your sister, but I'm willing to settle for you because I know that a worthless girl, such as yourself, is lacking in enough self-respect to actually date a turd like me."
#38
Studio Killers
All Men Are Pigs
Loving that beautiful, back-and-forth, gender-bending, banter. Probably the most conceptually intricate thing I've listened to all year.
The Best Bit:
Desperate Dude: "I'm not typical
And Simone...
You are just cynical!
I am better than you think
Let me buy you a drink
Cha-mon!
I'm not so typical at all"
Not Having It: "All men are pigs."
#37
Katy B
What Love is Made Of
The Duke Dumonts (overlooked this one when I was planning my list) and Disclosures of today seem to have profited a great deal from the wave of 90s house and UK garage revivalism brought about, perhaps in large part, by the success of Katy B. "What Love is Made Of" extends Katy's streak of winning, soulfully-sung and deeply-grooving singles.
The Best Bit: Lemme see
What love is made of
Give it to me
What love is made of
No recipe, what love is made of
So I can see
What love is made of
The Sanford & Son theme gets blasted by Lukasz's glittery dance-pop cannon, resulting in the year's most endearingly hodgepodgey and resilient pop singles. Pitbull, when engulfed by featured vocalist and shimmery production is tolerable to a point... that point in this particular tune being the second he starts speaking. #Folktronica #Buzzwords #Fads #HipMusicCritics #PeopleOnFacebook #ThanksAvicii
The Best Bit: I'll need an all-hook/no filler Pitbull edit, please and thank you.
or 
?) Dude's got mad jokes!
I never gave it #1, haha.
Great song. 