Commercially successful pop music is not always good pop music. Many of us know that intuitively, but it doesn't really sink in until there is a particular song we wish would go away. Here are 10 that I have chosen as the songs I think we've heard enough times already. Without further adieu...the 10 most annoying pop songs of 2009.
1. Asher Roth - "I Love College"
Courtesy Universal MotownWhite rapper Asher Roth made a big splash this year with this gimmicky song about a bored college student extolling the virtues of alcohol, women and cheap pizza. The record is distinctly lacking in engaging wit or even sarcasm. "I Love College" just missed the top 10, but with the follow up single "Lark on My Go-Kart" struggling to a #95 peak and the album Asleep In the Bread Aisle selling only approximately 150,000 copies in the first six months of release, it looks like Asher Roth's days in the pop spotlight may have already passed.
2. Mariah Carey - "Obsessed"
Courtesy Island RecordsThe first time around Mariah Carey's put-downs of rapper Eminem seemed clever and even a bit witty. However, the background bickering that inspired the song soon grew tiring, and it looks like she is possibly just as obsessed as she claims he is. A dull plodding beat with uninspired singing did little to excite pop music fans about Carey's album Memoirs Of an Imperfect Angel.
3. Cascada - "Evacuate the Dancefloor"
Courtesy All Around the WorldIf Lady Gaga was distinctly lacking in imagination, she might sound somewhat like this song by Cascada. The German pop-dance group continues to hit the pop charts around the world with derivative, dull imitations of much superior club music.
4. Lil Wayne - "Prom Queen"
Courtesy Cash MoneyHow do you follow up a smash hit rap album so big that it sells over one million copies in its first week of release? Apparently you try to put together your first rock album and a dull single like "Prom Queen" that seems to miss most everything that made fans buy your music in the first place. Although the album Rebirth was originally expected in April 2009, by November it was still uncertain when it would ever see the light of day. "Prom Queen" stormed on to the charts in the top 20 due to Lil Wayne's fan base, but it quickly faded from sight.
5. Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent - "Crack a Bottle"
Courtesy AftermathThree of the biggest names in hip hop got together to release one of this year's most annoying and, frankly, dull songs. Misogyny, braggadocio, and money are the order of the day here with a rather ordinary party beat. Clearly someone thought we might be awestruck by the names on the recording, but the sooner this song fades from radio airplay, the better.
6. New Boyz - "You're a Jerk"
Courtesy AsylumYes, there is a dance to accompany the skeletal groove here, but it's only worth doing if you think you can handle a thousand or so repetitions of, "You're a jerk." Presumably there are hundreds or even thousands of recordings like this coming out of home setups every week. Why did this one make it to the charts? Only the Warner Bros. execs who signed New Boyz know.
7. Whitney Houston - "I Look to You"
Courtesy AristaWhitney Houston did indeed make an impressive return to the charts this year. However, the music on the album I Look To You is only a shadow of what she created in the past. There is nothing inherently wrong with the title song other than it reminds you clearly that the glory days are past. It is a ballad in Whitney Houston's classic style except without the truly soaring vocals and without a memorable climactic moment. If you do make it through the song multiple times, every time it seems to plod along just a bit more than the last time through.
8. 3OH!3 - "Don't Trust Me"
Courtesy Photo Finish Recordings3OH!3's breakthrough hit is one of the most clever recordings heard on pop radio this year. However, it is exactly the self-conscious creativity that eventually causes the song to wear out its welcome and begin to grate. Eventually you will find yourself bored with the trust fund baby that kicks off the song and dreading the "Helen Keller" chorus to come.
9. Eminem - "We Made You"
Courtesy AftermathIf there is anything here that isn't a retread of past work by Eminem, I haven't found it. Check out "Without Me" and remember the days when Eminem seemed insanely original and creative.
10. Jordin Sparks - "S.O.S. (Let the Music Play)"
Courtesy Jive RecordsThere really was little room in Shannon's original recording of "Let the Music Play," the source material for this Jordin Sparks effort, for improvement. This is emotionless dance music by the numbers. Jordin Sparks can be soulful with her vocals, but this recording sounds like she tossed off the effort in time to head out to lunch with a friend.
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