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Discussion: Ask ATRL: Homophobic Family?
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 21,143
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Ask ATRL: Homophobic Family?
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 21,143
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Past Questions
Approaching "Straight" Guys?
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I like this boy at school , im not too sure if he is gay but my gaydar says he is and I always catch him looking at me (esp when I look at him ). The thing is even though he is in one of my classes , I don’t know if he is gay or not and don’t want to put myself out there just incase I get hurt or/and shamed – BUT I really like him. Btw one of his friends he hangs with is a obvious gay – Idk if that adds anything to the situation ( ) but yeah lol.
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The Answers:
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Originally posted by darkhorse
Add (talk to) him on Facebook. Makes it easier for you, especially if you're nervous. If he's straight, you could become great friends.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pandantic
Approach the obvious gay and ask about the guy you like. The obvious gay will most likely know his sexuality-
if he refuses to tell you (because of privacy or whatever): then he will at least notify his friend that you asked about it, which gives an indication that you're interested without it being too creepy or you having to talk to him.
If he says he's straight: then he'll save you any embarrassment and not mention it (a common decency most gays should have).
If he says he's gay: then you can approach him yourself
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Quote:
Originally posted by Can't_M!ss_This
A few social media sites should tell you. Even if he's not blatant, following gay things like Katy Perry on Twitter or having friends who are shirtless in their profile pic will usually tell you.
Asking this "obvious gay" friend could work but I've known a lot of those and they're just primp but straight. My best answer would be to find him alone and tell him "I think you're cute. Would you be interested in hanging out/going out?" If he says no or that he's not gay just politely ask him to keep the exchange to himself because you're not out and you don't want any drama. If he's any kind of a decent person he'll respect you and your decision and not tell. But if he does tell, he's an ass and you're better off without him. Then you just play defense and say he must be a jealous gay.
Oh how I don't miss high school
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Is College Worth It?
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I know ATRL isnt really the place I should ask this but w/e lol. Im a senior in high school in america and I dont really want to go to college. Like I understand how its important and all that, but I honestly think I'd be happy working my current job and just moving up to be a manager (I work at a clothing store). Is that bad? I think I WANT to go but I dont know what I would study and I dont want to get in a bunch of debt I cant pay later. Does that make sense?
I already got accepted to a college btw Im just stuck on going or not.
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The Answers:
Yes
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Originally posted by Damien M
Well, duh, of course it's worth it.
It's not a guarantee to success or anything but I mean, unless you're content working blue-collar jobs all your life, then...
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Quote:
Originally posted by Auraeolux
Depends on your major. For the most part, it's better than alternatives like no college at all.
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Originally posted by SupahBass05
Only if you don't waste years on a useless degree tbh, as harsh as that sounds.
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Originally posted by Jennifer
For me, it was.
But it's not for everyone. I literally didn't learn anything in undergrad, lol. It was all just partying and then cramming the night before exams, memorizing the material needed to do well on the exams. Unless you have a goal in mind (like being a doctor, lawyer, engineer, etc - careers that require post-secondary education), the value of a bachelors degree isn't much. Networking and knowing people is much more valuable.
I don't know you at all, but I don't see how someone could be happy moving up to a managers position at a retail store. lol. Pardon the judgement, but that'll be a really embarrassing job when you're 30 years old. You're in high school & you really don't know much yet, so it'd probably be in your best interest to go to college. It's only 4 years and at the least it'll open your mind and change you as a person through the social experiences.
Just don't go to a fancy private school. Go to a state school where the tuition is relatively cheap. I don't know what people are thinking going into 50-100k in debt from undergrad. Setting up for a life of financial failure unless you're planning on being a surgeon.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mileymore
Yes. College can help you gain contacts that can lead to future jobs.
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Originally posted by Tigre
I feel like college not only helps you grow academically, but in your personal life.
A vast majority of the people I know who did not attend college are the same person they were in high school, and to the point that it's a fault. They did not ever really challenge themselves to see if there's something more in life (which there is!)
You make a lot more lifetime friends in college as well.
College doesn't necessarily make you more financially successful, but it gives you more discipline, motivation, and well-roundedness which allows you to flourish no matter what.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kali.
Unless you are totally business savy and/or have a set plan what to do with your life, then college is necessary to be able to make a decent living.
Just a year and half to go until I get my MA
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Mixed/No
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Originally posted by Cain
There are people that haven't gone to college and are living a very wealthy life.
And there are people that did go to college and are still nowhere.
The thing is, your determination > your education.
Unless you want to become a doctor or scientist ofcourse, then college is... well, needed.
But overall it can really teach you the ways in whatever you want to become.
If you don't know what you want to do yet, I suggest not going to college yet either, it' will most likely be a waste of time and money.
Figure out what you want and then see if college is necessary or not, although in this day and age many companies do ask of you a degree of some sorts (not a HS degree).
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Quote:
Originally posted by Latch
Idk
I'm in college and I feel like I'm just wasting my time, honestly.
I'm devoting time and money that I don't have just to come out and get paid dog piss for a living when it's over.
I don't like when people act like academia is some automatic ticket to a life of fulfillment,
or worse when people bash others for not going to college.
Everyone doesn't have the means or the money to go to school, and the reality is that unless you plan on studying under a STEM major, then you can pretty much kiss the idea of a high paying job goodbye.
It can certainly help you improve your skills depending on where you go and what you study, but you also have to factor in whether or not you'll get accepted to that school and if you'll actually be able to afford it.
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I would say that whether or not college is or isn't necessary would be based on what you aspire to be because that fairy tale of just going to a university for 4 years and coming out "not broke," is rarely the case for most.
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Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
If you don't want to go to college and don't want a job that requires college don't waste your time and money on it. College costs tens of thousands of dollars and years of your life. You have to be sure it's the right thing for you.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Qwerty1234
Can I add my 2cents too!?
If you're happy doing jobs that don't require a college education, I wouldn't go to college.It would offer you more opportunities, but if you don't think you'll want to pursue them anyways, then why bother getting a degree?
Just work at the job you have/want and better yourself as much as you so you can climb the ladder.
P.S Many great businessmen/woman are dropouts/never went to college etc.
Honestly, I just graduated and my education didn't prepare me for ****. I'm just now learning the things that matter by actually doing them.
Goodluck!
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Quote:
Originally posted by Legacy
If you go motivated with a goal in your mind and you're ready to work hard then yes It can give you opportunities and skills. But if you're like me and just go there because you have no idea of what you want to do (here college isn't expensive like in the States..), no it's not.
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Quote:
Originally posted by BabyCantYouSee
Well, yes, if you don't know the right people then you should definitely go to college. Or if you're just an enthusiastic learner.
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Quote:
Originally posted by BabyCantYouSee
This is totally not true. A lot of young adults and teenagers have this kind of mind set, but some of the richest people ever had no post-secondary education.
You can still be filthy rich if you're creative, determined and hard working. But like I said, if you don't know the right people, then college should definitely be a choice to expand your network and increase your knowledge in whatever you want to master in.
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Also, some jobs require taking college.
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Quote:
Originally posted by BabyCantYouSee
Like, my brother's supervisor is making over 500k a year with a bachelor's in music. It just proves that anything is possible if you're hard working, at the right place at the right time, and meet the right people that will bring you far in life.
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Quote:
Originally posted by ❄ Frosty ❄
College, or University for the UK, is only really worth it if you are career determined. I would also recommend it to anyone who wants to expand their social network. I have never been, so I can offer any personal experiences.
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Originally posted by Attitude
I honestly think I'm wasting my time and money on it.
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Originally posted by Hugamari
It depends on your desired profession and your particular skill-set. Obviously if you're going to work in any sort of medical, science, or math-based field, you'd want college experience. However, if your particular goal is more of a creative or talent based profession, then college wouldn't be much of use.
Not exactly on topic, but college is stupidly overpriced in the States, especially for something the school system conditions you for 12 years to believe is needed to have any hope for even a half-way successful future.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vespertine
!!!!!!!!!!!
I sometimes regret going to school. But I got accepted to my ~dream school~ and it's what was expected of me, so here I am...
Also can people in this thread stop acting like having a college education is the only or best way to make a good living Though I guess most ATRL gays can't even consider the horrors of manual labor/blue collar jobs.
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Quote:
Originally posted by BudBud
college isnt everything , i know lots of people who have made it w/o a degree (also people who have made it with a degree). at the end of the day its about how you use that degree anyways . to answer your question what you could do is talk to the college career adviser who would know more about this then typical atrlers , or study college part time (like i am currently) .
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Quote:
Originally posted by collin
It really depends.
If you want to learn to do something specifically and you need college for it, obviously yes. If you want the college experience which can be extremely rewarding and helpful in your life in general, then yes.
If you're happy working for money in ways that don't require college, then yes.
It boils down to what you want to do and whether or not you're willing to spend money in certain places
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Quote:
Originally posted by ❄ Frosty ❄
Since 2011 I've been part-time studying with the Open University, for those who are unfamiliar with the Open University (often shortened to OU), it is basically where you complete your degree by home studying. It's beneficial if you wish to work alongside studying, and you only really have to attend tutorials which are optional and exams, which of course is compulsory.
Like I said, I have been doing this for nearly four years now and I finish in possibly 2017. It is pretty scary when you take into consideration the length of time to obtain this degree, however it is more laid back. It is very beneficial for social introverts like myself and those who want to commit to something more practical and earn money in a normal job.
Unfortunately, for me, I believe the degree I am currently doing will not hold any value once completed. And in 2017 I will be 25 so University will be much more intimidating for me than it was when I was 18. So like people have said already, you need to do your homework and research the degree beforehand. I would also looks at job requirements and identify what they want from you. Of course, however, as time progresses things will change and you might find yourself back at square one again. It's a very tricky decision but some time you just got to go with your gut feeling.
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Quote:
Originally posted by warriorsoul
If you like what you're currently doing and the $ is decent then no need to go to college. If later on in life you decide you want to pursue something else that requires a degree then you can enroll. A degree or some sort of certification is a must if you are looking for a more specialized job. I think the smartest thing is to go to college when you are really set on what you would like to do for a career. But then again, some places will hire you as long as you have a degree regardless of you major (my case )
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Quote:
Originally posted by RobynYoBank
It depends what you want to do with your life.
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Summary:
The general consensus here seems to be that college is a decision only you can and should make. I know that may not sound the most helpful, but this is something that will require you to examine yourself a bit. Members seemed to emphasize that college can lead to greater networking and higher salaries in certain fields. Many also stressed that a degree isn't the hard and fast way to a successful and happy life. Either way, ATRLers think that you should research what kind of career you might have if you were to go to college; leave no stone unturned. If you don't want to attend college, would you be happy working at your current job now? 10 years from now? For many people, college acts as their "life planning" stage whether they know it or not. If you choose to forego higher education, it's important that you have some type of plan.
Best City in Europe?
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This is more just for fun but I'm going to Europe on a tour this summer and we are just kinda stopping in all the major cities for like two or three days each. What's the best city in Europe for a tourist? I'm more into the good food and concerts/clubs than the history museums tbh.
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The Answers:
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Originally posted by ❄ Frosty ❄
I would love to help with this question, but I really haven't been out enough to other European cities beside London, since I live in the UK. London is quite overrated in my opinion. I've been Paris, it really is lovely. It's cited as the city of romance and it really does feel like that.
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Quote:
Originally posted by EloiseheartsRiRi
Copenhagen>Barcelona>Paris>Amsterdam>Prague>Berlin . The only right answer.
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Originally posted by Dawn
Never been to Europe but I'd love to visit Venice
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Originally posted by 2stupid4you
Berlin!!! Berlin has like everything. The nightlife>>>>> the guys>>>>>>>>> all those bears>>>>>>
ugh makes me want to go to berlin
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Originally posted by ZENO
I'd probably say London, Milan, Paris and Stockholm
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Originally posted by Robert
My personal favourite city is London. I really want to go to Athens as well.
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Originally posted by Rider
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Originally posted by Aryl
Seville gets my vote. Underrated Andalucian city, which is bustling but not too overwhelming, has amazing tapas and paellas, beautiful architecture and friendly people.
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Originally posted by Drowned_World
The trinity is London, Paris and Berlin. Been to the latter two and they're just so stylish and vivid. I'm planning on seeing London as well one day!
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Originally posted by Kisuke
Amsterdam,Berlin,Paris,Barcelona
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Originally posted by Cz!
The heat in the summer is unbearable, though. I wouldn't live there.
Anything by the Mediterranean sea + Madrid >
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Originally posted by MillionLights
London, Berlin, Paris, Madrid, Barcelona and Milan
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Originally posted by °ColdFire°
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Originally posted by liberalmusiclover
Moscow.
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Originally posted by Mezter
London and Paris probably offers the most due to size, so those
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Originally posted by Chemist
It depends on the type of vacations you want to do. Cities like Paris, Prague and Rome are very pretty but they are more the sightseeing during day, sleeping during night type of cities
If you want to get trashed during night and wake up everyday at 3 p.m then cities like Berlin, London or Amsterdam should suit you best
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Quote:
Originally posted by UpInFlames
Luxembourg
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Originally posted by Chileno
Amsterdam
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Originally posted by americanshameless
London.
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Originally posted by OpenBacardi
Paris is beautiful
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How to Slay an Interview?
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I have an interview for a pretty good (top 10 in US) college next week, and I'm just overall terrified. Not everyone gets one, so I really wanna make my interview count. I've read online that they last like 40 minutes but if the interviewer really likes you it can be 2+ hours. I'm signed up to be a chemistry major, which is the only thing they see from my application. Is that what I talk about? They already have my extracurriculars on the application and I just need to know how I can stand out, like, overall interview tips would be appreciated.
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The Answers
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Originally posted by Meowster
Always let the interviewer let go of you during the handshake - it's a sign of dominance and submission. They are superior to you and you want to subliminally show them that they have the power.
Always wear blue ties: red is proven to cause hostile attention and thoughts while blue is very neutral and makes people think of loyalty and trust. It is almost never bad to overdress.
If you were a three button suit: always, sometimes, never. Never fully button a suit.
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Quote:
Originally posted by BabyCantYouSee
Answer the interviewer's questions professionally, but try to also be relatable and connect with them. Nerves are also good to keep you grounded, but don't let them take over you.
My sister's husband works for a huge corporation and he said some of the most talented people apply, but if they come off as rude/pretentious and their interview does not go well because of it, they'll throw out their resume in an instant. Interviews are extremely important.
(I just read your post)
Show them that you have a great, genuine interest in chemistry. Tell them when you were first introduced to it, why you like it, and why you want to practice it in the future. Apply chemistry to your own life experiences (if you can lol).
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Quote:
Originally posted by BTrisc
Nice thread.
Hmm, at the top of my head I can think of a few tips:
-Maintain good eye contact
-Limit body language
-Slow down your speech when answering
questions to avoid "ums" and "likes"
-Don't be afraid to acknowledge your weaknesses
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Quote:
Originally posted by BTrisc
Oh, and succinct answers are paramount! Oftentimes, interviewers have another person to meet with right after you,
so keeping your answers succinct not only helps them but also demonstrates that you can be time-efficient.
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Quote:
Originally posted by BTrisc
(just saw the initial post)
Keep up with all chemistry-related current events so that you can discuss them in the interview. Perhaps you can find
a scholarly article that inspires you and study it. This demonstrates your genuine passion for the field
and shows that you have a vision for where you might like to end up.
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Quote:
Originally posted by chilicheese01
Just be yourself...
It ain't that serious. If you don't get accepted, you'll probably be better off at a different college anyway.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Citrus
I'll go ahead and start. I've had some interviews for scholarships and what-not recently (though certainly no Ivy Leagues like you girl), and the one thing I've learned is that it's important to be respectful but flexible. The interview is where you let your personality show. Now, that doesn't mean you should be kii kii'ing with the interviewer, but don't let the nerves stiffen you and keep you from being yourself. Be confident yet humble; don't gloss over your accomplishments, but don't linger on them, ya know?
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Quote:
Originally posted by Citrus
I feel this.
I had a college interview at a Panera last night and I have this monster pimple on my forehead right now. I put on a **** ton of cover up and I tried to style my hair to cover it.
But, honestly, it's not like there's a category on the interview evaluation sheet where they're like: "Perfect skin? Nope? Sorry!" As long as you yourself are prepared, competent, and friendly you'll be fine. I understand the introversion may be a bit of an obstacle there, but you just have to try your best to remember that you're qualified enough to get an interview, you're qualified enough to get the job. Own that ****.
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Poo Problems?
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Originally posted by ks_dollar
I just had diarrhea. I sat down on my toilet all happy thinking it would be solid, but what came out was sloppy and burned. It wasn't pretty to look at or sniff up - I've had this happen to me a few times before as a child, but not recently. I'm not exactly sure what to do, what are the best ways to deal with this situation? Thanks.
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The Answers
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Originally posted by Citrus
I'm 90% sure ks-dollar is joking, but in case he isn't:
-Fiber
-Dark, leafy vegetables
-Oats
-Aerobic exercise
-Increase water consumption
All of these could potentially help your, uh, movements get smoother. Also stop looking at it in the toilet, that's ****ing weird.
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Quote:
Originally posted by - JED -
Keep yourself hydrated. You may as well want to fast for the rest of the day before eating anything solid. If it was just a punctual diarrea it was something you ate that didn't sit well on you. On the contrary, if they're persistent you most likely have gastroenteritis.
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Quote:
Originally posted by chilicheese01
Take some Pepto.
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Originally posted by BudBud
Lol go to the doctor, they would know better about the situation then us, even though im sure some members would know alot too.
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Originally posted by Tymps.
Make sure you're pooping on a regular basis
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Becoming Iconic?
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So I know y'all are probably gonna drag me for filth, but I wanna know how people get to be popular or well known here. I want to know what I can do stand out here. I'm a newer member, but there are already iconic new members like that Brandy one. Do I need to spam a GIF? I'm not a big stan so I'm not too involved in my base. Any tips would be really cool.
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The Answers
COMING SOON
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 21,558
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If they're straight you have no business there, stop wasting your time gays!
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 11,186
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Being str8 I can say the only thing that will sway me is money. So if you've got coins, great! Come flirt with me. If not, then BYE .
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Member Since: 1/4/2014
Posts: 2,053
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Add (talk to) him on Facebook. Makes it easier for you, especially if you're nervous. If he's straight, you could become great friends.
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 27,951
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You don't. They are the enemy.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 15,736
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Approach the obvious gay and ask about the guy you like. The obvious gay will most likely know his sexuality-
if he refuses to tell you (because of privacy or whatever): then he will at least notify his friend that you asked about it, which gives an indication that you're interested without it being too creepy or you having to talk to him.
If he says he's straight: then he'll save you any embarrassment and not mention it (a common decency most gays should have).
If he says he's gay: then you can approach him yourself
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 21,143
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pandantic
Approach the obvious gay and ask about the guy you like. The obvious gay will most likely know his sexuality-
if he refuses to tell you (because of privacy or whatever): then he will at least notify his friend that you asked about it, which gives an indication that you're interested without it being too creepy or you having to talk to him.
If he says he's straight: then he'll save you any embarrassment and not mention it (a common decency most gays should have).
If he says he's gay: then you can approach him yourself
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Wait @ this being foolproof
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 16,407
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pandantic
Approach the obvious gay and ask about the guy you like. The obvious gay will most likely know his sexuality-
if he refuses to tell you (because of privacy or whatever): then he will at least notify his friend that you asked about it, which gives an indication that you're interested without it being too creepy or you having to talk to him.
If he says he's straight: then he'll save you any embarrassment and not mention it (a common decency most gays should have).
If he says he's gay: then you can approach him yourself
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Member Since: 1/27/2006
Posts: 51,546
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Befriend him, have some drinks or dank. You'll find your answer quickly.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 5,994
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Make a fake KIK and talk to him and start sending random nudes of the internet. If he says you're hot, well, then add him on your actual KIK account (or whatever social media site) and BEGIN!
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Member Since: 4/3/2014
Posts: 19,477
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Find out where he lives and watch him while he sleeps. It lets him know you're interested without coming off too strong by having a conversation or being in the same room with him. Make sure he can see you when he wakes up. Maintain eye contact when he does. Slowly slither away, you feisty anaconda.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 21,143
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Try to be helpful, hunties.
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Member Since: 1/4/2014
Posts: 6,751
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Quote:
Originally posted by Citrus
Try to be helpful, hunties.
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You might want to refine the question... It's ambiguous.
I assume you mean in "friendship"...right? Cause if they are confirmed "straight", then why would you ask them if they wanna do the dirty? At best you'll just get a few obscenities... at worse you'll end up the ER. :Katie:
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Banned
Member Since: 1/5/2014
Posts: 2,035
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grab his crotch in the cafeteria, if he punches you, he's gay
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Member Since: 3/2/2014
Posts: 1,248
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Doesn't matter if he straight boo. Spike his drink when his not looking. Take him home, keep him tied up for a few years. Feed him, show him affection, let him out for air if he behaves but keep him on a leash. By the time you've realised it, stockholm syndrome has already kicked in and boom you have a boyfriend.
Edit:
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandantic
Approach the obvious gay and ask about the guy you like. The obvious gay will most likely know his sexuality-
if he refuses to tell you (because of privacy or whatever): then he will at least notify his friend that you asked about it, which gives an indication that you're interested without it being too creepy or you having to talk to him.
If he says he's straight: then he'll save you any embarrassment and not mention it (a common decency most gays should have).
If he says he's gay: then you can approach him yourself
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Jokes aside, this seems like the best option. If I were gay and hormonal, I'd do it like this.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 15,736
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This is supposed to serious guys we've all been there at some point.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 21,143
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Quote:
Originally posted by RihsusChrist(ATG)
You might want to refine the question... It's ambiguous.
I assume you mean in "friendship"...right? Cause if they are confirmed "straight", then why would you ask them if they wanna do the dirty? At best you'll just get a few obscenities... at worse you'll end up the ER. :Katie:
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I put straight in quotes because the asker has suspicion of said guy's sexuality. Str8 might've been better, haha.
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Member Since: 4/6/2014
Posts: 9,220
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A few social media sites should tell you. Even if he's not blatant, following gay things like Katy Perry on Twitter or having friends who are shirtless in their profile pic will usually tell you.
Asking this "obvious gay" friend could work but I've known a lot of those and they're just primp but straight. My best answer would be to find him alone and tell him "I think you're cute. Would you be interested in hanging out/going out?" If he says no or that he's not gay just politely ask him to keep the exchange to himself because you're not out and you don't want any drama. If he's any kind of a decent person he'll respect you and your decision and not tell. But if he does tell, he's an ass and you're better off without him. Then you just play defense and say he must be a jealous gay.
Oh how I don't miss high school
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 21,143
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I'm just gonna quote the serious replies, btw
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