Don't bug out, but I think you have a large cockroach in your ear canal ...
Doctors in Australia came to the aid of a man this week who realized a large cockroach had crawled into his ear. Hendrik Helmer, of Darwin, Australia, told radio station 105.7 ABC Darwin he first noticed something was wrong when he woke up early in the morning with acute pain in his right ear.
Somehow, Helmer sensed a creepy crawler was to blame, although he wasn't yet sure exactly what it was.
"I was hoping it was not a poisonous spider," Helmer told the station. "I was hoping it didn't bite me."
As the pain worsened, Helmer attempted first to suck the creature out with a vacuum cleaner, and then to flush it out with water.
"Whatever was in my ear didn't like it at all," he noted.
Helmer eventually gave up and rushed to the Royal Darwin Hospital, where he was forced to wait 10 extremely painful minutes for the creature to die before a doctor could extract it.
Well if you want to get technical, having a cockroach lay eggs inside your tongue and then have them hatch there is my biggest fear, but this is pretty ****ing close
