I had a guy friend that I was really close to in elementary school until he went to middle school, and then in 2011/2012 in high school we started back hanging but stopped again, and then last year his dad passed and we became really close. he always wanted to hang out and we texted frequently, and i began to realize that i had really fell in love with him. a lot of people know/assume i'm gay, but i'm not out so i dont have guy friends so it made me feel like something was there. ive layed in his bed several times, one time with my head near his d.ck, stayed to his house until like midnight with him seeming like he not wanting me to leave, rode out with him several times, it's crazy.. he's bought me food before without me asking, we've have little petty, fake arguments, etc.. we stopped talking when he graduated but he texted me on my birthday and he checked on me during his thanksgiving break and we went out and caught up and he bought me food.. besides that i texted him on his birthday in march and we havent talked. i know i may sound desperate but sometimes i just wonder could there have been anything there or was that just a friendship... ive had a friend tell me i shouldve expressed how i feel but with me being in the closet i never have. any thoughts/suggestions?