Worst single
1. Magic! – ‘Rude’
2. Meghan Trainor – ‘All About That Bass’
3. Band Aid 30 – ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’
4. Sam Smith – ‘Money On My Mind’
5. Cheryl – ‘Crazy Stupid Love’
6. Union J – ‘You Got It All’
7. Jennifer Lopez feat Iggy Azalea – ‘Booty’
8. Cheryl – ‘I Don’t Care’
9. will.i.am feat Cody Wise – ‘It’s My Birthday’
10. Nicki Minaj – ‘Anaconda’
Notes: Good to see some love here for Sam Smith’s bore-off artistry anthem ‘Money On My Mind’ – the only song in 2014 to include the line “when I go home, I tend to close the door”.
Worst album
1. Jessie J – ‘Sweet Talker’
2. U2 – ‘Songs Of Innocence’
3. Cheryl – ‘Only Human’
4. Iggy Azalea – ‘The New Classic’
5. Sam Smith – ‘In The Lonely Hour’
6. Nicole Scherziner – ‘Big Fat Lie’
7. Calvin Harris – ‘Motion’
8. Ed Sheeran – ‘X’
9. Jennifer Lopez – ‘AKA’
10. Neon Jungle – ‘Welcome To The Jungle’
Notes: In a way it’s unfair to say Jessie J’s album is the very worst of the year. On the other hand, how easy would it be to find someone who’d stand in front of a room full of people and claim that ‘Sweet Talker’ was in any way the best? Not that easy, that’s how easy.
Most absurd use of major label cash
1. Rita Ora
2. Union J
3. Jessie J
4. Cheryl
5. U2
6. Taylor Swift
7. Sam Smith
8. One Direction
9. Lady Gaga
10. Bang Bang specifically
Notes: It’s a shame, really, that there was no big ‘Rihanna 777’ blowout this year. (Not sure if we’ve mentioned it on the site over the last few months but Rihanna didn’t actually put an album out in 2014. She might release on in 2015, she might not; we’re not too fussed either way really.)
Major artist with disappointing music most at odds with ability to achieve better
1. Cheryl
2. Calvin Harris
3. Lady Gaga
4. Katy Perry
5. Jessie J
6. Nicole Scherzinger
7. Shakira
8. The Saturdays
9. Lily Allen
10. One Direction
Notes:
Worst attempt at a solo career
1. Cheryl
2. Fergie
3. Lea Michele
4. Nicole Scherzinger
5. Nick Jonas
6. Kian Egan
7. Amelle
8. Jason Orange
9. Michelle Williams
10. Ashley Roberts
Notes: Poor old Lea Michele. It was only a year ago that it seemed like she might do quite well in 2014. Still, at least she didn’t have to grab hold of her **** in the hope that a few chaps might get hot under the collar. Mainly because she doesn’t have a ****, but also because she’s not Nick Jonas.
Shoddiest video
1. Katy Perry – ‘Birthday’
2. Nicki Minaj – ‘Anaconda’
3. Ariana Grande – ‘Break Free’
4. Kylie – ‘I Was Gonna Cancel’
5. Cheryl – ‘I Don’t Care’
6. Gwen Stefani – ‘Baby Don’t Lie’
7. J.Ko and Iggy Azalea – ‘Booty’
8. Iggy Azalea feat Rita Ora – ‘Black Widow’
9. Katy Perry – ‘Dark Horse’
10. Beyoncé – ‘7/11′
Notes: Actually talking of The Script, as we were just now, while we respect each of your votes in this category it’s simple fact that The Script’s ‘Superheroes’ video is the worst of the year by some distance and for at least three different reasons.
Had it, lost it in 2014
1. Lady Gaga
2. Katy Perry
3. Cheryl
4. The Saturdays
5. Nicole Scherzinger
6. Shakira
7. Lily Allen
8. Lana Del Rey
9. Calvin Harris
10. Mariah Carey
Notes: This list makes from grim reading, doesn’t it?
So true.
