I just put something in the bin and went to flush it asif it were a toilet

Pull push push pull doors. IDGAF.

I have no idea what u just said

Oh Lorde... seventh grade, two major microwave mishaps in just one week.

1) I was making Easy Mac one day and for some reason I absentmindedly put the cheese mix in with the water before I heated it up. I came back a few minutes later to find melted cheesy water EVERYWHERE, leaking out of the microwave, all over the counters, etc.

2) A few days later, I had some pizza in the fridge I wanted to heat up. It was wrapped in tin foil. Normally I just throw pizza in the oven on the same tin foil it was wrapped in... but this time I was lazy and decided to microwave it, but I forgot to take it off the tin foil Burnt the back of the microwave before I noticed the burning smell.

After both of those, I wasn't allowed to use the microwave for months

One time I opened the door into the garage to make sure that I hadn't left the light on, but it was dark in there (because the light was off) and I was like, "well ****, I can't see anything. Let me turn the light on so I can see whether I left the light on." And so I did.

Then I realized.

i cannot at the tinfoil part.

When i was 9 i seen a commercial for the danger of putting knifes/forks into a toaster, so then 10 minutes later i made some toast and put a knife in it you can imagine the explosion.

I drove thru a red light.

IM HOWLING

Rear end the car in front of me but IDGAF

oh

Have fun paying the insurance company

Went into a an Apple store and asked if they had Android products.
I wasn't even trolling

Once (while I was distracted) I put a lighter in my mouth and tried to light it with a cigarette. The worst part is I did this dumb ass **** in front of a boy I liked. He looked at me sideways and walked off.

Never felt so dumb in my life.

Fine. It was dumb because I was sitting at the light with all of these other cars waiting for the light to turn green and I was trying to time the lights So I thought I timed it right and just decided to start rolling right thru the intersection. Good thing there wasn't an accident. Or cops

A few nights ago I was eating dinner and looking for my fork. It suddenly disappeared from me and I was looking all over the table for it then said "wtf where's my fork" then my dad was like "...it's on your plate" and it was

One time my friend needed my number for my project so while in class

Friend: I need your number.
Me: Ok, text me so I can give you my number.
Friend: But I don't I have your number.
Me: Well text me then so I can give you my number.
Friend: I don't have your number though.
Me: WELL TEXT ME THEN!!!



Needless to say this went on for a while until I realized my stupidity.
She remained calm throughout the ordeal. Such a good friend.

I'm dying