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Discussion: Can you cheat on your partner and still love him/her?
Member Since: 11/19/2011
Posts: 436
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Can you cheat on your partner and still love him/her?
Does cheating demonstrates lack of love or lack of respect?
Or does cheating have nothing to do with loving someone?
We're talking about meaningless sex, no strings attached.
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Member Since: 6/20/2010
Posts: 15,376
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It certainly shows a lack of respect. I don't think it necessarily demonstrates a lack of love.
Regardless of the questions asked in the OP. It boggles my mind how one can cheat and still sleep peacefully next to their significant other.
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Member Since: 2/6/2014
Posts: 5,159
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no.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 68,548
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Last month, I went out with a guy who's been in a relationship for two years and a half. He cheated on him, since we did things, but then he said that he still loved his boyfriend and that cheating on him every once in a while kept his relationship alive. Then his tragic-looking boyfriend found out all about it and forgave him.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 6,415
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I do believe cheating is a lack of respect to the one you love.
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Member Since: 11/19/2011
Posts: 436
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Quote:
Originally posted by KillingYourCareer
Last month, I went out with a guy who's been in a relationship for two years and a half. He cheated on him, since we did things, but then he said that he still loved his boyfriend and that cheating on him every once in a while kept his relationship alive. Then his tragic-looking boyfriend found out all about it and forgave him.
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So everyone cheats then? or just good looking gays?
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Member Since: 3/25/2011
Posts: 10,337
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Yes you can. This was very apparent for me when hearing about some of the suicides that resulted from the Ashley Madison expose (of course people were lacking in sympathy smh).
Many men (many) have a deep primal and spiritual relationship with sex and sexuality, and struggle with monogamous relationships. Wanting to have sex with multiple people does not negate the love you have for another person, they can be different compartments all-together. We as a society have constructed a value system that doesn't allow this though, which is why so many people live quiet lives of desperation.
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Banned
Member Since: 9/12/2011
Posts: 9,897
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Lack of respect definitely and that's something that's hard to win back. But people make mistakes. You have to own up to it and respect your partner's decision on whether they want to stay in a relationship with you or not.
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Member Since: 11/19/2011
Posts: 436
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Quote:
Originally posted by Eaten By Lions
Yes you can. This was very apparent for me when hearing about some of the suicides that resulted from the Ashley Madison expose (of course people were lacking in sympathy smh).
Many men (many) have a deep primal and spiritual relationship with sex and sexuality, and struggle with monogamous relationships. Wanting to have sex with multiple people does not negate the love you have for another person, they can be different compartments all-together. We as a society have constructed a value system that doesn't allow this though, which is why so many people live quiet lives of desperation.
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It's just a sad lifestyle for me to accept. If you cheat on someone you "love" it's just the way you love and you can't bring more to the table, that's it. When someone cheats they just don't care about the one they "love", knowing if they were to ever found out, they know there whole world would crumble and by having the affair you are simply saying "I don't care about my other half's feelings".
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Member Since: 4/28/2012
Posts: 37,654
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Member Since: 2/2/2014
Posts: 2,001
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If you cheat on someone you’re dating, you don’t love that person. I’m sorry, but it’s true. If you are unfaithful, you are not in love.
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 12,538
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Lack of respect, yes.
(Also, I could never remain in a relationship with someone who cheated on me. I don't care how much I love them or how much they love me).
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Member Since: 5/14/2012
Posts: 12,274
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If you truly loved the person you were with, and you both agreed to have a monogamous relationship, then why would you go out and have sex with another person behind their back and put them through that pain? To me, it shows a lack of love/respect, because cheating isn't just some simple mistake, such as forgetting an important date/detail, etc. We all make choices in life, and depending on those choices, you either get rewarded or deal with the consequences.
If you know you can't have a monogamous relationship, why bother getting in one? Find someone who has the same ideals as you (such as a open one) and discuss this with them so you'll both have an understanding and be comfortable with it. Don't get into a monogamous relationship and you want to have multiple sexual partners. Why bother putting that other person through all that stress and pain?
Cheating is a disgusting act, simple as that. No other way around it and there are no excuses for it.
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 9,420
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You can, but not everyone can be in a relationship knowing their partner has sex with other people as well.
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Member Since: 3/25/2011
Posts: 10,337
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hurem
You can, but not everyone can be in a relationship knowing their partner has sex with other people as well.
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I don't think I could be TBQH. It would take a lot. But I think, on a fundamental level, many human beings are not satisfied being sexually tied to one person for their entire life. They crave the excitement of variety, but they put them away and instead create elaborate fantasies or just live unfulfilled lives out of fear and shame.
I wonder what a world would look like the act of sex was less about possession and more about expression.
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 12,538
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Quote:
Originally posted by psychodj
If you truly loved the person you were with, and you both agreed to have a monogamous relationship, then why would you go out and have sex with another person behind their back and put them through that pain? To me, it shows a lack of love/respect, because cheating isn't just some simple mistake, such as forgetting an important date/detail, etc. We all make choices in life, and depending on those choices, you either get rewarded or deal with the consequences. It's a disgusting act that people need to stop making excuses for.
If you know you can't have a monogamous relationship, why bother getting in one? Find someone who has the same ideals as you (such as a open one) and discuss this with them so you'll both have an understanding and be comfortable with it. Don't get into a monogamous relationship and you want to have multiple sexual partners. Why bother putting that other person through all that stress and pain?
Cheating is a disgusting act, simple as that. No other way around it and there are no excuses for it.
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Speak on it 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 5,905
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Everyone is different. I'm one of those people who commits pretty easily, when I'm in a relationship I really have no desire to even entertain any other guy. So yeah, if I did cheat it would probably mean I'm not in love with my partner, but that hasn't happened so  OTOH some people are more sexually driven so they feel like not ****ing some hot person when they get the chance is missing an opportunity(?) I guess? Or they may be sex addicts, substance abusers, etc. In their case, cheating wouldn't necessarily mean they don't love their partner... Not that it would give them a free pass 
Quote:
Originally posted by Eaten By Lions
Yes you can. This was very apparent for me when hearing about some of the suicides that resulted from the Ashley Madison expose (of course people were lacking in sympathy smh).
Many men (many) have a deep primal and spiritual relationship with sex and sexuality, and struggle with monogamous relationships. Wanting to have sex with multiple people does not negate the love you have for another person, they can be different compartments all-together. We as a society have constructed a value system that doesn't allow this though, which is why so many people live quiet lives of desperation.
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Fair enough, as long as the men who have a "deep primal" need to not be monogamous let their partner know from the get go that they want an open relationship, or if not that at least explain their view on sex like you did in this post
Quote:
Originally posted by JonginBey
Lack of respect, yes.
(Also, I could never remain in a relationship with someone who cheated on me. I don't care how much I love them or how much they love me). |
Same. I have a lot to offer in a relationship, but one of my flaws that I recognize would definitely be jealousy/possessiveness. It goes both ways, but knowing someone slept with someone else (or even flirts too much/hasn't had sex but does other things with someone else) is a massive no-no and in the case of cheating pretty much ends the relationship.
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Member Since: 12/16/2008
Posts: 59,380
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No, if you love someone you don't hurt them and cheating on them would definitely hurt them and it shows the lack of both things, love & respect to the loved one.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 6,332
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i don't know. it certainly is hard to believe 
Quote:
Originally posted by Souled Out
If you cheat on someone you’re dating, you don’t love that person. I’m sorry, but it’s true. If you are unfaithful, you are not in love.
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Quote:
Originally posted by JonginBey
Lack of respect, yes.
(Also, I could never remain in a relationship with someone who cheated on me. I don't care how much I love them or how much they love me). |
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Member Since: 5/7/2012
Posts: 41,067
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I strictly believe if someone cheats, then they do not love their partner and the relationship can never truly be salvaged but that's just me. If you love someone you would do everything to keep them happy and not cause pain to them.
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