The grammar is a bit messy in the first verse/pre-chorus (path I’m lead, the verb tense jumping from present to past in the last line of the verse, take me great places) and that usually doesn’t hurt your score too much, but it is a bit grating to read, so please take care with that in the last few weeks! Anyway, I love the mood evoked here and the way the rhythm changes in the verses (with the long lines) and the chorus (with the shorter lines) and the work this pacing does in establishing a sense of both dreaminess and urgency. That sense is developed further in the 2nd verse and bridge, which highlights the kind of dark side to this song and sets up the dream vs. reality dichotomy that makes this one of your strongest entries. I love how you work within that gray area and never make the ‘reality’ part too obvious, which I could see happening in a more amateur entry. Thematically and structurally I think this is great, though some of the lyrics are a little weak or just not particularly well chosen, like land “flooding” eyes, the fear/near rhyme, side of the screen (?).
Thank you
The "flooding" idea was like, when it's a bright day and you open your eyes, and all the light floods in and your are taken aback by it. The side of the screen is toying with the image that, as you recall a dream, it can kind of be like viewing it on a screen? It's also supposed to represent the mirror previously referenced, which is also an idea of reality (we're covered in dust at the side of the screen, as in, in reality we are forgotten and covered in dust, and yet in a dream we can be fulfilled). Hope that makes sense. But thank you again !
Hugsong coming through! This sounds like an interesting but extensive challenge.
Heyyyy!
Sorry I didn't respond to your PM immediately! I was off watching streams on Twitch. Let me read what our part of the challenge calls for and respond to your PM!
Sorry I didn't respond to your PM immediately! I was off watching streams on Twitch. Let me read what our part of the challenge calls for and respond to your PM!
Hey! Take your time I have to head out again, so I'll respond later tonight.
Now that I'm out of the competition, I'm just gonna say "I Don't Need You" was snubbed. Most of my songs deserved the lashings they got, but "I Don't Need You" is one of my favorites I've written, and that's not only considering my PH songs. The chorus has to be one of my favorites choruses, and I was so taken back @ being #8
I like to believe it would've been a Top 3 hit had I written it for any other challenge.
Most of my songs deserved the lashings they got, but "I Don't Need You" is one of my favorites I've written, and that's not only considering my PH songs. The chorus has to be one of my favorites choruses, and I was so taken back @ being #8 
One of my favourite songs of last year, but it only hit me this year.