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Poll: OkCupid: It's not racist if you prefer to date certain race
View Poll Results: Is it racist if you choose not to date certain races?
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No, it’s a preference.
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148 |
56.49% |
No, as long as the reason is not based on stereotypes.
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105 |
40.08% |
Yes it is racist.
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55 |
20.99% |
Undecided
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8 |
3.05% |
Member Since: 11/27/2010
Posts: 9,806
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lose My Breath
What do you mean? There are many white people who pretty much exclusively date black people because they find them MORE attractive. It just depends on the person
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Im skeptical when a guy comes at me with "I only date blacks." They usually act like I should be flattered that they would be attracted to black men. Im like my big penis just went soft. I have no interest in being someones fetish.
I had one guy flat out tell me he only was dating his white boyfriend because he was "responsible" unlike the blacks he had seen or encountered. He then proceeded to tell me he'd dump his boyfriend for me. Im like no stick with your boyfriend. Youre dumb enough to stick with someone 15 years that you havent had sex with in 10 years because you are too ignorant to learn that not all blacks are irresponsible and not all whites are responsible then I cant be bothered.
He got angry and threw every stereotype up in my face to try and get me angry. Im like I still am not interested in being your man no matter what.
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Member Since: 5/8/2012
Posts: 6,632
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bloo
No. I never said that. I actually said, "If someone of a certain skin color comes along and I find them very attractive, then that's them." I think most of the debate here is people confusing the fact that preference does not inherently suggest exclusivity. If you overall prefer something, that doesn't mean you refuse anything outside of it. I prefer frozen yogurt over ice cream, but that doesn't mean I refuse to eat ice cream. You all are interpreting preference as meaning something more than it does.
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There's nothing wrong with "preferences" like when you say that you are generally sexually attracted to people of x race. I think that's what you were saying
It's wrong when there is exclusivity ie "im only into x race" (see what Adonis said above) or "im not into x race"
It's wrong when you go into the "i dont find x race attractive" territory.
By doing this you would be lumping billions of people of different ethnic and geograhic backgrounds. You would be assuming that everybody in x race would have characteristics that you dont like, (basically saying that they all look alike). Cant you see how problematic this type of thinking can be?
Not to mention a lot of people hide behind their "preferences" to disguise the fact that they are hateful of other races.
the food comparison doesnt rlly work because you could say that you dont like yogurt all you want but it wouldnt be problematic (bc its food lol). You couldnt do the same with people
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Member Since: 3/26/2012
Posts: 37,592
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It's not racist to have a preference, but it is racist to say you would never date/find attractive someone of a certain race.
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Member Since: 5/12/2012
Posts: 7,989
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Quote:
Originally posted by Butters
There's nothing wrong with "preferences" like when you say that you are generally sexually attracted to people of x race. I think that's what you were saying
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That is what I'm saying.
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It's wrong when there is exclusivity ie "im only into x race" (see what Adonis said above) or "im not into x race"
It's wrong when you go into the "i dont find x race attractive" territory.
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People typically speak with generalities. If someone were to say that, they're probably commenting on how they generally don't find x race attractive. I think the boundary is when someone clearly states that someone of x race is attractive but states that they can't date said person from x race because they're from that respective race. That's where the line exists, in my eyes.
Quote:
By doing this you would be lumping billions of people of different ethnic and geograhic backgrounds. You would be assuming that everybody in x race would have characteristics that you dont like, (basically saying that they all look alike). Cant you see how problematic this type of thinking can be?
Not to mention a lot of people hide behind their "preferences" to disguise the fact that they are hateful of other races.
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I honestly only see this kind of stuff happening online. In the real world, I never see this as an issue.
Quote:
the food comparison doesnt rlly work because you could say that you dont like yogurt all you want but it wouldnt be problematic (bc its food lol). You couldnt do the same with people
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Not really, I don't think people (outside of Grindr) blast things like that. I have my preferences and that's that. I'm not stating it 24/7 to hurt said people. That is just idiotic.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 4,871
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There's no reason why you shouldn't find at least one person from another race attractive. If you count everyone of a certain race out, then it's probably because of a common feature(s) in all of them, and that's most probably a certain physical appearance.
And if you call them preferences, then why aren't those preferences more diverse? You rarely see interracial couples as opposed to couples that are one homogeneous race.
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Member Since: 3/27/2009
Posts: 30,284
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If one vehemently dismisses an entire race then that's clear racism; I really do not see how this concept is hard to grasp. Now I do understand having a preference, we're human, but that doesn't mean generalizing an entire race on this so called "preference". Tf out of here...
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 5,754
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Quote:
Originally posted by CaptainMusic
I know
At least Black guys are popular with black women and more popular than Asian guys with White and Latina women, they have the lowest rating with every race.
If my sister saw this study it would crush her.
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There are beautiful black women though. And they tend to have the most curvaceous bodies and curvy is in so its a bit confusing.....
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Member Since: 3/25/2012
Posts: 10,673
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rihinvention
Because when you say it, you're putting it out there for people of that race to be offended by, and it makes them feel inferior. For example, if you have something like "no Asians or Indians" in an online dating profile (which is disgustingly common in grindr profiles here in Sydney) then you're putting it out there for Asian and Indian guys to be offended by. There could be some 16-17 year old Asian/Indian kids who are coming to terms with the fact that they're gay and are looking to reach out and talk to someone about what they're going through. They might be getting bullied at school for being gay and consequently feel rejected and depressed. Then they find out about grindr, a way they can reach out and befriend other gay guys, and the first thing they see is a bunch of profiles rejecting them and making them feel even more inferior because of their race. That's overtly racist.
At the same time, I feel like some of those guys who aren't attracted to Asians or Indians or another race aren't doing it because they consciously hate people of those races. Sure, a lot of them are. But some of them aren't. Often they feel that way because of the Western media's glorification of Caucasian beauty and Caucasian features, and the underrepresentation of other ethnicities' attractiveness in the media. Something they have no control over. Something they've been brainwashed to believe since they started watching television as a toddler. Like I said before, you can't help who you're attracted to. It just happens naturally. Simply being gay is an example of that. Anyone gay on this forum knows they don't choose to be gay. Similarly, you don't choose the ethnicities you're attracted to. As a result, I think it's important to start having an equal representation of ethnicities in the media.
I hope this clears up my opinion on the issue
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Quote:
Originally posted by longjohn9898
Preferring to date one race over others is not necessarily racist, but people need to realize that people's "preferences" are not just developed in a vacuum but in a society that is inundated with media's representations of what is considered attractive--and in most cases this is based on a Eurocentric standard of beauty, hence OkCupid's huge preferences to white men and white women. White men may not show their preferences as strongly because simply, they have more to choose from because other races are more open to the idea of dating/being in a relationship with white people in general because of media's representations. The criminalization and hypersexual/violent portrayals of black men are exotification of Asian women (with Asian men and black women being the least desired based on these polls) is just further evidence of the effects society has on racial preferences in dating.
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@ all of this.
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Member Since: 8/25/2012
Posts: 30,317
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Quote:
Originally posted by longjohn9898
Preferring to date one race over others is not necessarily racist, but people need to realize that people's "preferences" are not just developed in a vacuum but in a society that is inundated with media's representations of what is considered attractive--and in most cases this is based on a Eurocentric standard of beauty, hence OkCupid's huge preferences to white men and white women. White men may not show their preferences as strongly because simply, they have more to choose from because other races are more open to the idea of dating/being in a relationship with white people in general because of media's representations. The criminalization and hypersexual/violent portrayals of black men are exotification of Asian women (with Asian men and black women being the least desired based on these polls) is just further evidence of the effects society has on racial preferences in dating.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 46,848
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Quote:
Originally posted by SpinThatShhh
It's not racist. That's like saying it's homophobic to only be attracted to one gender.
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nn 2 different things
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ATRL Senior Member
Member Since: 3/22/2012
Posts: 53,769
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This is... I can't...
It's literally not possible to be biologically not attracted to any single person from a given race, is it?
Like the reason I find "no Asian, no black" **** to be so offensive on dating sites and apps is because it's literally ignorant of biological fact and is borne entirely out of preconceived prejudices.
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Member Since: 4/7/2009
Posts: 34,961
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Quote:
Originally posted by longjohn9898
Preferring to date one race over others is not necessarily racist, but people need to realize that people's "preferences" are not just developed in a vacuum but in a society that is inundated with media's representations of what is considered attractive--and in most cases this is based on a Eurocentric standard of beauty, hence OkCupid's huge preferences to white men and white women. White men may not show their preferences as strongly because simply, they have more to choose from because other races are more open to the idea of dating/being in a relationship with white people in general because of media's representations. The criminalization and hypersexual/violent portrayals of black men are exotification of Asian women (with Asian men and black women being the least desired based on these polls) is just further evidence of the effects society has on racial preferences in dating.
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This is pretty much the end of the discussion and both arguments.
But ppl aren't as smart as you, you know.
and Rihinvention too.
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Member Since: 3/4/2014
Posts: 319
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Quote:
Originally posted by ahauntingnearu
I'm not attracted to other ethnicities other than white, and I couldn't be myself dating them. Not out of racist tendencies, rather that I'm not sexually attracted to them as I am white peoples. But I still have strong friendships with other ethnicities!
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sad
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Member Since: 2/2/2014
Posts: 1,865
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Quote:
Originally posted by longjohn9898
Preferring to date one race over others is not necessarily racist, but people need to realize that people's "preferences" are not just developed in a vacuum but in a society that is inundated with media's representations of what is considered attractive--and in most cases this is based on a Eurocentric standard of beauty, hence OkCupid's huge preferences to white men and white women. White men may not show their preferences as strongly because simply, they have more to choose from because other races are more open to the idea of dating/being in a relationship with white people in general because of media's representations. The criminalization and hypersexual/violent portrayals of black men are exotification of Asian women (with Asian men and black women being the least desired based on these polls) is just further evidence of the effects society has on racial preferences in dating.
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Truth. I would also question why latinos are sometimes the exception to this "white only" rule, and how much of that is also due to media representation. When it comes to relationships, there's often a Latin lover/spicy Latina stereotype that overly romanticizes us as passionate lovers, or nothing more than the side piece. The media also overlooks how diverse we are as a group. Latinos can be black, or any race, so it makes no sense to say you would want one but not the other. When they say that, do they mean only if they look like Pitbull? No shade to Mr. 305.
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Member Since: 11/16/2010
Posts: 1,257
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Quote:
Originally posted by Chamoy
Truth. I would also question why latinos are sometimes the exception to this "white only" rule, and how much of that is also due to media representation. When it comes to relationships, there's often a Latin lover/spicy Latina stereotype that overly romanticizes us as passionate lovers, or nothing more than the side piece. The media also overlooks how diverse we are as a group. Latinos can be black, or any race, so it makes no sense to say you would want one but not the other. When they say that, do they mean only if they look like Pitbull? No shade to Mr. 305.
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More than likely these Latin-inclusive people prefer the lighter skinned ones with green/blue/colored eyes and lighty-brighty almost-whitey. The browner they get, the less likely they are to "include" them. This is why people like Sofia Vergara, J-Lo, Ricky Martin, etc. get praised as representative of Latin beauty.
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Member Since: 7/18/2010
Posts: 29,717
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Both of the "no" options are acceptable.
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 6,919
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It's a preference. Y'all need a chill pill
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Member Since: 6/1/2011
Posts: 10,384
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Honestly... I feel like this thread always gets reposted by the same people desperately trying to justify their racism. Yes, it is racist.
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Member Since: 2/2/2014
Posts: 126
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Having a preference for a particular race is entirely different from excluding an entire race based on their ethnicity. I'm not surprised at the results of this poll.
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Member Since: 3/2/2014
Posts: 153
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Is it racist if I am attracted to more people of a certain ethnicity than equally? Is it racist if I don't date an equal amount of every ethnicity?
I am SO SICK of people trying to make everybody out to have racist motives.
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